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Besides having curiosity about your veteran's feelings, you should also try to keep a neutral tone--in your voice and body language--so you don't raise the intensity of the conversation. And avoid criticizing. Criticism will only shut the other person down, and keep them from listening to what you have to say.

These techniques will de-escalate most arguments. But, as we all know, the higher our emotions are, the harder these rules are to follow. When things get too heated to follow these rules and treat each other with respect, you should ask to take a break and come back to the discussion later, when you're both calmer.

And remember, if the stress at home gets too high, the V.A.'s Vet Center clinics--as well as many V.A. hospitals--offer family counseling that can help.

Now let's talk about a different kind of conversation you might have with your veteran. Think of a situation you've been in where you needed to encourage someone to do something they didn't want to do or... may not have felt ready to do. Once you've thought of something, click to the next page to continue.