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Next, summarize. When you summarize in your own words what your friend said about what’s going on or how they’re feeling, without being judgmental, then your friend will know that you’re really listening and that you do want to understand. It will make your friend want to talk more about it. Here are a few examples of summary statements.

Sounds like you’re angry at your sister.
So, because of all this, you have to do more at home.
That all sounds really stressful.

YOU: Wow, okay, so your big sister is causing all this drama, and you've had to take care of your little sisters, and that's a lot to deal with.
YOUR FRIEND: Yeah, it is a lot to deal with. And my parents are freaking out, so they’re always saying, "Do this, do that, get up and take your sisters to school." I can't get up if I only slept for four hours!
YOU: Yeah, you’re not a robot!
YOUR FRIEND: I know, right.

In this example, you not only showed your friend that you wanted to understand, but you got your friend to share more about what’s been going on.