MR. HAMPTON: Hi, I’m Bill Hampton, and I teach fifth grade. We’re a few weeks into the school year, and I’m concerned about a student in my class named Mia.
Here’s what I’ve been noticing. Mia doesn’t seem to have many friends in class and often gets into disagreements and arguments with other students. Once, another student named Gordon, was talking about a movie Mia hadn’t seen, and she seemed to get upset and called him “stupid.” I had to step in quickly to diffuse the situation.
Mia often argues with me in class. Sometimes she seems angry; other times she seems to do it for a laugh. Last week, she called out that she didn’t want to do the homework I assigned, and then several other students said they didn’t want to do it, either. I tried to talk to her about it later, but she still seemed upset and wouldn’t say much.
One of Mia’s classmates couldn’t find her new pencil case and then told me she saw Mia put it in her backpack. Mia said she found it on the ground outside and didn’t think it belonged to anyone. When I asked her to return it, Mia threw the case at the other student’s feet. I talked to Mia about it later, and she said that the other girl is “spoiled and gets new things every day,” so she “didn’t even deserve the pencil case.”
Sometimes Mia doesn’t follow rules about school property. During recess a few days ago, I saw her writing on the walls of the school with chalk, even though we'd told students that was not allowed.
I spoke with Mia about some of the things I’ve noticed. While she didn’t express much regret for her behavior, she did express some resentment toward her older siblings, who now watch her after school since her parents’ divorce.
None of the incidents seemed extreme enough on their own to warrant a call home or a parent meeting, but the combination of these behaviors, and the fact that they’ve persisted since the start of the school year, have made me concerned.
I spoke with our school counselor and our vice principal for ideas on how to better support Mia. They agree that it might be beneficial for her to speak with the counselor one-on-one. But first I’d like to talk with Mia’s parents in person to bring them into the loop. I met them at our Back-to-School Night and have communicated with them briefly over email about class announcements and projects. I called both of them to find a time when they could come in and talk. Mia’s dad is traveling and unavailable for the next few weeks, but Mia’s mom is coming in before school this morning to talk.
The goals in this conversation are to:
JACKIE: First, let’s hear an interaction that goes poorly. At times, I will comment with observations and advice, and there will be times that you will get to hear what Mia’s mom, Ms. Parker, is thinking.