EMMA: Hey Charlie, how's it going? (friendly) You look like crap.
CHARLIE: Ugh.I feel like crap.
EMMA: Guess you haven't tried to clean up much today, huh?
CHARLIE: (sighs) I tried, but, just (another heavy sigh) wasn't up for it. (embarrassed) As you know, I had quite the night.
EMMA: So. uh, yeah, speaking of last night. I was hoping to talk to you about that actually. Last night, I mean.
CHARLIE: (curious) Oh yeah? Sure. But, uh.
COACH: You told Charlie you were hoping to talk about the party the night before. When you speak from your own perspective it can be less intense for the other person.
CHARLIE: To tell you the truth, I don't really REMEMBER much of last night.
EMMA: I was a little worried about you last night. You kept drinking, and had a hard time walking by the end of the night.
CHARLIE: I appreciate the concern, but I mean, everyone was drinking too, right?
EMMA: Some people were. Some weren't. And you were, you know.
CHARLIE: (embarrassed) Are you saying I was, like drinking more than everyone?
EMMA: It seemed like, yeah? Maybe?
CHARLIE: (dismissive) Oh. Well, you know me, next level at everything.
EMMA: I'm not sure if you remember, but by the end, it got a little dangerous.
COACH: You showed support for Charlie, "I was kinda worried about you," which helped him be more receptive to when you told him the events of the previous evening.
EMMA: You'd had a few drinks, and you were gonna try to backflip off the roof?
CHARLIE: What? No I wasn't. Was I?
EMMA: (gently) You were. And you could have hurt yourself pretty badly.
CHARLIE: I wouldn't, I woulda been fine. Remember, remember that awesome uh, front flip over the fountain last month? You were there.
EMMA: I was also there when you tried to front flip over a bike in the campus parking lot and you ended up with a twisted ankle. Well, So wait, did I do it last night?
EMMA: No, but you were serious about trying to. Who knows what might've happened if you did. I don't think you would've done it if you were sober.
CHARLIE: I remember asking you to. Yeah, it's coming back.
CHARLIE: I dunno, there's, (beat, shifting) Sometimes stupid is fun!
EMMA: I'm just concerned for you, ya know?
CHARLIE: Concerned?
EMMA: Yeah, the past few weeks you've been going pretty hard. Like every night.
CHARLIE: You gotta go hard, that's college.
EMMA: No one else in our friend group seems to get as drunk as you do.
CHARLIE: I mean, I appreciate your concern.
COACH: You showed support for Charlie by sharing your concern for him, which helped him be more receptive.
CHARLIE: I guess I've been a little wild recently.
EMMA: Could we just chat about it a bit?
CHARLIE: Uh, sure, no worries.
EMMA: How's everything going?
CHARLIE: Whaddya mean?
EMMA: Just like in general. School, life, whatever.
CHARLIE: I mean fine? I've been a little stressed with classes, but not like stressed. I dunno, some classes are going better than others.
COACH: You asked a question that invited Charlie to share his thoughts, which helped Charlie to open up about what he's going through at the moment.
CHARLIE: (sighs) My, uh, computer science grades have been slipping.
EMMA: That must be tough. I know how important computer science is to you.
CHARLIE: Yeah.It is, I mean, it's literally why I'm here.
EMMA: (joking) And I thought you were here to eat half a pizza when Kev and I only want a couple slices.
CHARLIE: Aww. The pizza arrangement definitely works for me.
EMMA: But yeah. Learning is kinda important too.
CHARLIE: And I guess I might be putting less time and effort into my grades. And maybe a little more into drinking. (sighs)
COACH: You showed support to a subject that Charlie really cares about. That helped him explore the gap between what he cares about, and some of his recent behaviors related to alcohol.
CHARLIE: I know how hard it is to land a job out of school. I really can't mess this up.
EMMA: What do you mean by that?
CHARLIE: Just going out, drinking. I'll have to keep in mind why I'm really here. Still though, I think you're making it into a bigger thing than it is.
EMMA: I'm just worried for you, I'd feel terrible if something happened to you, like you hurt yourself, or worse. I get it, I get it. Especially when you've had a few drinks. I just want you to be safe.
CHARLIE: Yeah. Thanks. Means a lot. Seriously. I'm not trying to worry you or anything.
COACH: You shared how you were worried about Charlie because of his recent choices. As a result, he was more open to hearing and thinking about how his actions affect not just himself but his friends too.
CHARLIE: I'm just trying to, I don't really think too much about the consequences of doing something while I'm doing it. Y'know?
EMMA: I really enjoy hanging out with you, and I don't like worrying about you when we go out.
CHARLIE: Aww, you don't need to worry about me.
EMMA: It's not like I'm choosing to worry. It's just, lately, it's like,most of our friends don't end up drinking as much as you, and we've spent a lot of time talking you down, helping you home, and I didn't ask you to do any of that. (sighs) But I know you're all just looking out for me. (sadly) CHARLIE: Didn't really think what I did would affect you guys too.
COACH: You let Charlie know what the effect of his drinking is on you in a non judgmental way, as opposed to just telling him about the difficulties. As a result, he was more open to hearing and thinking about how his actions affect not just himself but his friends too.
CHARLIE: I don't want to make going out suck for you and Kevin.
EMMA: I wouldn't put it that way.
CHARLIE: But, Yeah. I get it. (sighs) Certainly a lot to think about.
EMMA: How do you feel about how often you end up in risky situations when you drink?
CHARLIE: Risky how?
EMMA: Like not being able to get home on your own, trying to backflip off a roof, not remembering much the day after.
CHARLIE: (sighs) I guess that has been happening a little more recently. (breathes in, then blows raspberries) That's how I feel.
COACH: You asked Charlie a question that invited Charlie to consider his recent pattern of alcohol misuse and some of the negative consequences. Although Charlie responded in a silly way, it's clear he's starting to see the problematic aspects of his use, behavior, and overall values.
CHARLIE: You think just cause you choose not to drink much, please. You don't get it.
EMMA: Look. I'm not trying to judge you or I'm just concerned.
CHARLIE: Yeah, I hear ya.
COACH: You tried to understand Charlie's perspective and recognized you might have been coming across like you knew Charlie's situation better than he did. Charlie began to listen.
CHARLIE: I guess I just, I dunno, I love going out but it's not always that easy to, I dunno, jump in. Like uh, get started. Talking to people and stuff.
EMMA: Huh. I wouldn't have guessed. You have such a big personality! (earnest) And I have more fun with you when you're not drinking as much.
CHARLIE: Yeah I mean, with people I know, sure. But we're meeting all these new people here and some of 'em are pretty cool and I just feel a little better chatting with 'em after I've had a beer.
EMMA: Okay, I still don't totally think you need a drink to help you feel comfortable, I don't know. I guess, what do you think it is that takes you from "a drink helps me relax" to, well?
CHARLIE: To me being plastered and ready to jump off the roof?
EMMA: Yeah.
CHARLIE: (thinking) Yeah (laughs) I dunno. And I'm supposed to go to another party tonight.
EMMA: Could we talk about maybe visiting the counseling center? They could give you some tips.