Verbal and Online Bullying.
Miss Henderson: Verbal bullying is when the comments are written or spoken in a place where the other person can see or hear them. Online bullying can become much more aggressive than in-person bullying because it feels anonymous. Online bullying often is seen by the target, even if they weren't messaged or tagged directly. And, people can still get in trouble for participating in online bullying, even when it's anonymous. That's why a fourth D (in addition to the three D's we talked about earlier) is recommended when responding to online bullying: Document. Take a screenshot of the post and save it to document what's happening. If things get serious, you can share it with a trusted adult or report it for removal on the platform you're using. Every situation is different. Use your judgment and comfort to decide which response feels appropriate to you. It means a lot that you came to talk through this with me. I hope everything works out, and remember, you always can come back to chat again.
Later that night, someone anonymously posts online about Jody hiding in the bathroom and crying with the caption, "Literally irrelevant such a loser, why do you even go here, leave so we don't have to see or smell you anymore." Jody's definitely commented on posts from this account before, so they've probably seen this already.
Responses.
- You choose to say, "A piece of crap like Jody should be in the bathroom."
- Coach: By making a negative joke in a place where Jody can see, you contribute to a culture of bullying. It's easy to troll from behind a keyboard. It takes confidence to be an upstander.
- You choose to say, "This is mean please take this down."
- Coach: You directly commented that the post was mean. This sends a message to the person who posted, as well as Jody. It also sends a message about what's okay to the larger community of people at your school.
- You choose to message the person who posted directly to have it taken down.
- Coach: Sometimes directly messaging the person who put up the mean post can feel intense, depending on how well you know the person. Other times, it can feel more comfortable because it's not a public comment.
- You choose to report the post as violating community guidelines.
- Coach: Reporting the post and delegating to the platform for violating community guidelines can feel more comfortable since it's anonymous and still limits the spread of a harmful message.
- You choose to take a screenshot of the post and show the post to someone you trust at school.
- Coach: By documenting a screenshot of the post, you can assist in case it helps show what happened later, especially if the person who originally posted takes down the page or it disappears. And, showing the post to someone you trust at school can help you figure out next steps and make sure support is provided.
- You choose to say, "Wait, is it just me or do the bathrooms at our school smell really good?"
- Coach: By using positive humor to distract from the comments other people are leaving, you change the focus of the conversation to talking about how the bathrooms smell rather than continuing to talk about Jody.
- You choose to save a screen recording where you scroll through comments.
- Coach: Using screen recording to document can help capture more information (like scrolling through all the comments and usernames), in case it helps Jody show what happened, later on.
- You choose to say, "Jody you're a good person, and I'm glad you're at our school."
- Coach: You commented directly on the post and put a more positive spin on Jody. If Jody or someone Jody knows sees the post, they'll get the sense that not everyone at the school is against them.
