Picture 1: A group of 16-year-olds sit together in a living room. Janelle is Latine with dark brown hair in a ponytail and is smiling and gesturing towards a cupcake. Danique is Asian-American with dark brown hair in a bob, wearing a purple hoodie. Christopher is Black and wears his hair in dreadlocks and a green hoodie over a white shirt. Trey is White with short brown hair and wears a blue t-shirt.
Jenelle: Saying with disgust: So, um, Jody made me these cupcakes for my birthday.
Christopher: So weird, what a loser.
Trey: You gonna try one?
Jenelle: No way. They look soggy? Why?
Trey: Someone told me that they heard Jody crying in the bathroom again. Maybe Jody cried on them ‘cause Jody has no friends.
Danique: (laughing) I bet there's dandruff in the frosting.
Jenelle: Right? Ew! Hope Jody doesn't think we're still friends, or anything. We haven't hung out since like, elementary school.
Responses.
- You choose to say, "At least they smell better than Jody."
- Trey: (laughing) Ew, right?
- Christopher: We have to burn those.
- Danique: (laughing) No, if we burn them, then it'll smell like Jody everywhere.
- Jenelle: For Jody's birthday, I should get like uh, a huge pack of deodorant.
- Danique: I would totally chip in for that.
- Christopher: (laughing) Me too!
- Coach: By making a negative joke, you sent a message that making fun of Jody was okay. The situation escalated, leading to a plan to humiliate Jody further.
- You choose to say, "Jody's actually a really sweet person. When my cat died, Jody checked in with me a few times."
- Trey: Wait, your cat died?
- Danique: Trey, you're such a space cadet.
- Christopher: That's true, though. Jody wrote me a really nice note when my mom got sick.
- Jenelle: How about that, Trey? Did you even know about Christopher's mom?
- Trey: Of course I did.
- Danique: And, did you write a card?
- Trey: Did you?
- Jenelle: Wow, y'all are terrible friends.
- Coach: You distracted by bringing up a positive aspect of Jody as a person, and the conversation changed to talk about Jody in a positive light.
- You choose to say, "Wait Jenelle, speaking of your birthday, what time are we meeting up for river rafting this weekend?"
- Jenelle: Um, I don't know. It's going to be hot, so we probably want to get an early start. The place opens at like eight.
- Danique: Ugh, so early!
- Trey: And you're sure we don't need to know how to swim?
- Christopher: Please don't die, Trey.
- Jenelle: They have life vests and stuff. I'm sure you'll be fine.
- Coach: You distracted the group by bringing up a different subject, and the focus of the conversation shifted away from Jody.
- You choose to say, "Come on, you're all being a bit much."
- Jenelle: What! It's not like, you know.
- Danique: Just saying, you know.
- Trey: Awkward.
- Christopher: Shut up, Trey.
- Jenelle: Whatever.
- Coach: You spoke directly to the situation, and everyone stopped talking about Jody.
- You choose to say, "I don't think that's funny."
- Jenelle: Of course you don't.
- Trey: You're so boring.
- Danique: Come on, just drop it.
- Christopher: Anyway, what do we want to do tonight?
- Coach: You directly said you didn't think the jokes were funny and changed the focus of the conversation.
- You choose to say, "Wait, Christopher, didn't Jody write you that nice note when your mom was sick?"
- Christopher: True, true. That was nice.
- Trey: But, wait, are you actually friends with Jody?
- Christopher: I'm actually friends with you, and you didn't write me a nice note.
- Danique: Oooh, slam!
- Christopher: You didn't either, Danique.
- Danique: I was, but well, you know. I was going to.
- Christopher: Uh huh.
- Coach: You delegated to Christopher to bring up positive aspects of Jody and changed the course of the conversation.
- You choose to ask someone for advice on what to do later
- Jenelle: Well, these are definitely trash.
- Christopher: Just like the person who made them!
- Danique: Ow! But you're right, Jody's such a loser.
- Coach: You planned to delegate and ask someone for advice later. Although this won't stop what's happening, sometimes it can help to think about how to respond to a situation. You can also check in with people afterward in a more personal way to make a bigger impact.
