Pic 1: The screen changes to a scene where Ms. Abbie and Jake sit across from each other in an empty classroom.
Ms. Abbie: Thanks for taking a couple minutes to talk with me, Jake.
Jake: It’s all good. It’s just study hall.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I want to make sure you can use that time for, well, for whatever you want. So this won’t take too long.
Jake: (pauses) Okay.
Ms. Abbie: The last unit we studied, I’d ask a question, and immediately your hand would go up. No matter what it was about, you always had something to say, and contribute.
Jake: Well, Mandela is like, my personal hero.
Ms. Abbie: (nods encouragingly) Mine too, definitely! (beat) More recently, I haven’t seen you raising your hand as much.
Coach: This was a specific example of an observable behavior that also used neutral language.
Jake: Yeah. Guess I haven’t. Sorry, my mind’s just been, not here. There’s some stuff going on at home that, yeah. Hard to put into words.
Jake’s thought: I guess now that you mention it, I did raise my hand more before.
Ms. Abbie: If you’re comfortable sharing, what’s been going on at home?
Coach: This was an example of an open-ended question that also builds on what was shared earlier.
Jake: It’s weird, nothing bad, really. Just (pauses) kind of quiet.
Ms. Abbie: Quiet, how?
Jake: I don’t know. My mom has been just shutting the door to her room. Probably because she doesn’t want me to hear her crying.
Ms. Abbie: (nods, understanding)
Jake’s thought: Even with people around, home feels so (beat) empty now.
Ms. Abbie: So, from what you’ve said, you, your mom, your whole family has been dealing with something kind of difficult recently.
Coach: This reflection builds on what was shared and was specific.
Jake: (nods) My mom especially. She’s taking this, this whole thing, with my cousin, she’s taking it really hard. I try to help, but (trails off).
Ms. Abbie: You’re being strong and supportive for her.
Jake: (nods) It’s not easy. But, I mean, yeah. My cousin, he, he was at this concert. And then on the way home, I got no idea why, but he’d been drinking, using who knows what.
Ms. Abbie: (nods)
Jake: So yeah. Now he’s dead.
Ms. Abbie: I, (nods) I’m sorry to hear that.
Jake: What sucks the most is him and me? We were close. One time, we were hanging out and he like, he’d been drinking, and, and he said he’d drive me home. And I was like, "dude, what are you doing?" And he said, "it’s no big deal" or whatever. And I tried, I tried to talk with him about it, and he promised. So stupid. Sorry. Didn’t mean to (beat) I don’t know.
Ms. Abbie: (warm) It’s okay. I appreciate you sharing all this with me. Earlier when you said something was going on at home, I didn’t know.
Jake: (nods)
Ms. Abbie: I think I have a better sense of where you’re coming from now.
Coach: Ms. Abbie let the student know that she was listening, which helped build connectedness and strengthened her relationship with Jake.
Jake: For sure. I mean, at least you try to understand. Some of my other teachers (pauses) maybe they would too, but, you know.
Ms. Abbie: Well, I’m glad you feel like you can be open with me.
Jake: (joking) Yeah, you’re fine.
Ms. Abbie: (small laugh)
Jake: But yeah, in general, I don’t mind talking about school stuff.
Jake’s thought: You actually listen to me. I’ll take that.
Ms. Abbie: Thank you for sharing as much as you have. Maybe we can talk through what we can do in class?
Coach: It’s a good idea to move on whenever you feel ready. There’s no need to talk about more than you feel comfortable with.
Jake: (beat) Sure thing.
Ms. Abbie: How would you feel about talking a little about ways we might, things we could try, to help you have a better time in class?
Coach: This was an open-ended question that gave the student the option to weigh in and share their thoughts.
Jake: (hopeful) Yeah, I could, let’s try. I want to (pauses) I don’t want to do bad in class. So, yeah, hopefully this helps.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I want you to do well too.
Jake: Yeah. Thanks.
Ms. Abbie: What do you think about the mindfulness activities we do in class? Like taking a few minutes to notice how you feel, focus on your breathing, that kind of thing.
Coach: Asking about mindfulness can be helpful, especially if it’s something you’ve done as a whole class.
Jake: They’re (pauses) I don’t know. (changes tone) At first I thought they were a little silly.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I get that.
Jake: But, I don’t know. They also kind of help. After doing it a few times, I sort of, the sad thoughts in my head quiet down a little.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) Well, if you ever feel like it would help, you’re welcome to take a minute and sit, shut your eyes, focus on your body, and your breathing, same way we do with the whole class.
Jake: I guess I could like, take a second, sometimes. Try breathing, or whatever.
Ms. Abbie: (warm) Whatever you’re comfortable with.
Jake: Yeah. Why not, couldn’t hurt. I guess that’s something to think about.
Jake’s thought: Yeah, I don’t think I can just cheer myself up like that.
Ms. Abbie: How do you feel about, like when you have a lot of thoughts in your head, or big feelings, writing them down?
Coach: Asking about writing can be helpful, especially if it’s something you think the student would enjoy.
Jake: I, yeah, yeah, that helps. Writing. When I have like, a lot of things, all swirling around (trails off).
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I know the feeling. Like, your mind is trying to focus on so many ideas at the same time, and it’s hard to hang on to all of them.
Jake: Exactly. And like, just making a list of everything I’m thinking about, it can help.
Ms. Abbie: Definitely. So, if you ever feel like, like there’s a lot going on, and you want to pull out your notebook, even if we’re in a discussion, go ahead.
Jake: And you won’t be like, (making fun of Ms. Abbie) "Jake, you put that away right now! Rawr rawr rawr!"
Ms. Abbie: (chuckles) I won’t! Is what I sound like?
Jake: Eh, (pauses) only a little bit.
Ms. Abbie: Ugh, great. Well, to prove to you I’m not just a grouch, you just let me know if you ever need another notebook, alright? I have extras.
Jake: (genuine) Cool, thanks. Okay, I guess that’s a couple things to think about. I should probably be getting to my next class, unless there’s more to say?
Ms. Abbie: What are some things that help you when you’re feeling down?
Coach: By asking an open-ended question she was able to collaborate and find something that works for them.
Jake: Listening to music.
Ms. Abbie: Yeah, I do that too.
Jake: But like, I probably can’t just start listening to music when you’re like, up there, teaching everyone.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) Any other ideas?
Jake: Drawing? I like drawing. When I’m like trying to get the shading right or whatever, my mind doesn’t drift to stuff.
Ms. Abbie: Ah, I see that. Maybe that’s worth considering.
Jake: Yeah as long as, like if you see me drawing, you know I’m not just bored.
Ms. Abbie: (smiles) Yeah, I’ll know you’ll join us when you feel up to it.
Jake: Okay, cool. I guess I could use the same notebook I use for writing down thoughts and stuff.
Ms. Abbie: Absolutely. And like I said, if you fill that one up, I’m happy to give you another.
Jake: Cool, thanks. Alright, I think that’s a few things to think about. I’m, I’m feeling (pauses) better. So maybe I can get going to my next class? Unless there’s more?
Ms. Abbie: What do you think about talking with Ms. Ines, the school counselor?
Coach: Even if the student doesn’t agree to go, it is still important to offer them the option, just in case.
Jake: I haven’t talked with her much. She seems friendly or whatever.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I really like talking with her when I have a lot on my mind. If you ever wanted to talk with Ms. Ines about what’s going on, I’d be happy to go with you.
Jake: Oh, I think I’m okay. I’d rather just talk with you.
Ms. Abbie: Sure, we’ll keep talking. And if sometime we wanted to bring in Ms. Ines as well, she always has a great perspective.
Jake: Okay. Not today, but, I’ll think about it.
Ms. Abbie: (warm) Sounds good.
Jake: Okay, I think we’ve talked through a bunch of options. Any final thing on your mind? Otherwise I should probably head to class.
Ms. Abbie: Let’s try that as a starting place, and see how things feel from there.
Jake: (a little hopeful) Okay.
Ms. Abbie: Would it be okay if I go over what we talked about? To see if we’re on the same page?
Jake: (nods)
Ms. Abbie: Well, you’re going to try to use mindfulness, like focusing on your body, or breathing, write down some of your thoughts in a journal, draw when you feel like there’s a lot in your head, you’ll think about talking with Ms. Ines, and, also, you can always let me know if there’s something we’re talking about as a group you’d rather not talk about.
Jake: Yeah, that all sounds good. Hearing you go through all that, it really helps.
Ms. Abbie: Well, thanks again for talking with me today. Maybe we can check in, a few days from now, and see how everything is going.
Jake: Cool, thanks. Seriously, I, I appreciate it. You’re like, I feel like you live that Mandela quote. “I never lose. I either win, or learn.”
Ms. Abbie: (small laugh) I mean, I’m no Mandela.
Jake: I don’t know, I think you’ve got a little Mandela thing going on.
Ms. Abbie: (smiles) Thanks.
Overall Results:
Ms. Abbie did a good job helping Jake and encouraging him to try some strategies to help him cope. He knows she’s there for him and there are resources to help him. He’s excited to try one of the strategies Ms. Abbie talked about. It’s good that she’s checking in with him again in a few days.