Pic 1: The screen changes to a scene where Ms. Abbie and Jake sit across from each other in an empty classroom.
Ms. Abbie: Thanks for taking a couple minutes to talk with me, Jake.
Jake: It’s all good. It’s just study hall.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I want to make sure you can use that time for, well, for whatever you want. So this won’t take too long.
Jake: (pauses) Okay.
Ms. Abbie: Your grades have been slipping, in a way that’s honestly kind of surprising for me.
Coach: This language can project a judgmental tone towards our students. Instead, Ms. Abbie should try using soft, neutral language to describe what she observed.
Jake: (shrugs) It’s whatever.
Ms. Abbie: If you end out the year with lower grades, that can come back to bite you. Colleges, jobs, you name it.
Jake: I’m fine. It’s just not like, the most important thing to me right now. Kind of (pauses) hard to put into words.
Jake’s thought: Don’t worry about me. I’ll figure it out.
Ms. Abbie: After such a good year so far, I’m trying to understand. Why are you shutting down, all of a sudden?
Coach: This is an open-ended question, but could leave the student feeling judged. Instead, she should try using more neutral language.
Jake: I, I’m not sure what you want me to say. Things are tough right now. It’s kind of (pauses) sad.
Jake’s thought: You don’t have to like, interrogate me. None of this crap matters anyway.
Ms. Abbie: No matter how you’re feeling, I’m here to tell you that school is important.
Coach: School is important, but this choice focused on school and not on the student’s feelings. Instead, Ms. Abbie should try to show the student she’s there to support them.
Jake: I know that, but like, just cause you say something is important, doesn’t mean (pauses) whatever, you don’t get it.
Ms. Abbie: Okay, then help me understand.
Jake: Basically, my cousin, he was driving home from a concert, and (beat, upset) he’s dead, alright?
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I’m sorry to hear that.
Jake: Whatever. We all die. He was just being (pauses) stupid. Drinking, and, yeah.
Ms. Abbie: If I’m being honest, I’m worried about you, worried what might happen if you keep thinking about your cousin. If you can, try to stop.
Coach: This reflection was more like giving advice. Instead, she should try showing the student she cares and is there to provide support.
Jake: (bitter, sarcastic) Uh, sure. I’ll just (pauses) stop thinking about him.
Ms. Abbie: I know it’s not that easy.
Jake: (scoffs) Uh huh. Whatever.
Jake’s thought: Sure, I’ll just stop thinking about it. Right now! And, surprise surprise, it didn’t work.
Ms. Abbie: Maybe, it might help you feel better if you just, let it all out. You know? Tell me everything on your mind.
Coach: Digging for more information can make the student feel uncomfortable. It’s okay to move on and make a plan together.
Jake: Honestly, I don’t want to do that.
Ms. Abbie: Oh, okay.
Jake: Yeah, like, sorry. But no.
Ms. Abbie: You’re going through a lot as a family, and you still show up for school every day. That takes a lot of strength.
Coach: This was an example of an observable behavior that was specific and affirmed how the student was feeling.
Jake: (joking) Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I really, want to come to school.
Ms. Abbie: (understanding nod, small smile)
Jake: But yeah. I don’t know. If I kind of, give in? Lie around all day at home doing nothing, that’s not good either. So might as well try to focus on school. (beat) Thanks. For now, I kind of (pauses) don’t want to talk about this anymore. If that’s alright.
Ms. Abbie: No problem. I think we need to find some ways to make your time in class easier.
Coach: Finding ways to help a student in class is important, but you want to make sure to give them some choice. She should try asking the student what works for them.
Jake: I can deal with it, okay?
Ms. Abbie: (beat) I’m not sure you can.
Jake: It’s not like I’m causing a whole (beat) whatever, fine. (cleansing breath) But wait, are you saying I need, I’m a problem, or something?
Ms. Abbie: (warm) No, not at all.
Jake: Okay, cool.
Ms. Abbie: Maybe it could help to keep in mind, everyone feels sad sometimes, you know?
Coach: When we overgeneralize it can minimize the student’s feelings. Instead, we should try to show the student we’re there to support them.
Jake: Eh, I don’t know. I don’t think (pauses) that’ll help, really.
Ms. Abbie: Well, at least try it. If it doesn’t work, that’s okay.
Jake: Uh huh.
Ms. Abbie: Positive outlook, you know? Everyone goes through this, and you will too.
Jake: (beat) Sure. I guess that’s something to think about.
Ms. Abbie: What do you think about talking with Ms. Ines, the school counselor?
Coach: Even if the student doesn’t agree to go, it is still important to offer them the option, just in case.
Jake: I haven’t talked with her much. She seems friendly or whatever.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I really like talking with her when I have a lot on my mind. If you ever wanted to talk with Ms. Ines about what’s going on, I’d be happy to go with you.
Jake: Oh, I think I’m okay. I’d rather just (pauses) talk with you.
Ms. Abbie: Sure, we’ll keep talking. And if sometime we wanted to bring in Ms. Ines as well, she always has a great perspective.
Jake: Okay. Not today, but (pauses) I’ll think about it.
Ms. Abbie: (warm) Sounds good.
Jake: Okay, I guess that’s a couple things to think about. I should probably be getting to my next class, unless there’s more to say?
Ms. Abbie: Let’s try that as a starting place, and see how things feel from there.
Jake: (a little hopeful) Okay.
Ms. Abbie: Well, thanks again for talking with me today. Maybe we can check in, a few days from now, and see how everything is going.
Jake: Alright. Cool if I go?
Ms. Abbie: Yeah, you can go.
Overall Result:
Jake doesn’t feel fully supported in talking through what’s happening at home. It’s good that Ms. Abbie discussed some strategies he can try on his own. She can show support by following up with him, which she’s already planned to do.