CARA: I'm sorry, I'm probably just paranoid or something. Don't even worry about it.
POWERS: Did you do something wrong? Like I've told you in the past, even if you've gotten yourself in trouble, you need to tell me.
CARA: No, it's not that, I didn't do anything wrong.
POWERS: Okay, then what's going on?
CARA: It's just, (frustrated sigh, overwhelmed) my friend Jake is kinda freaking me out.
COACH: You asked Cara if she did something wrong before having all the information. If you tell a student you're interested in talking without accusing them of being in trouble, they will be more likely to open up when something is really bothering them.
POWERS: I'm sorry to hear Jake had a bad day, but that's normal sometimes, you know? He'll probably feel better by tomorrow.
CARA: I don't know, he was pretty upset. His phone got broken this morning.
COACH: You tried to make Cara feel better by normalizing that people sometimes have bad days but missed the opportunity to acknowledge her feelings and empathize with her.
POWERS: Did Jake have his phone out at school? He's not supposed to.
CARA: Yeah, I know, but that's not. (sigh)
POWERS: What?
CARA: (beat) I wasn't there, but apparently Jake's "friend" Wyatt was messing with him, and he was the one who broke it.
COACH: You reinforced the school's policy about cell phones. Right now it seems like Cara is worried about Jake, so before you try to tell Cara what was wrong in the situation, try to understand what's bothering her.
POWERS: Sounds like it might have been an accident. If it was on purpose, I feel like Jake would have told someone.
CARA: (shakes head) That's not how Jake saw it. And I don't think he told anyone because, I don't know. I think he wants to handle it.
POWERS: What do you think Jake meant?
CARA: (shrugs) He didn't say, exactly. But (shifting gears slightly) I dunno, I'm just worried.
COACH: You focused on how it could have been an accident instead of acknowledging how Jake must have been feeling. You missed an opportunity to support Cara and for her to feel understood and that she was doing the right thing.
POWERS: I want to make sure I understand what you've told me, and how you're feeling.
CARA: Okay.
POWERS: Jake has been bothering his friend Wyatt because Jake stole Wyatt's phone.
POWERS: Jake started some kind of ongoing conflict with Wyatt.
POWERS: And Jake is going to try to talk to Wyatt about what's going on. Do I have that all right?
CARA: (loud sigh) I don't, whatever.
POWERS: Sorry, I'm trying to make sense of it all.
COACH: You tried to summarize what Cara told you but didn't get it all right. It's important students know adults are listening and taking them seriously when they share concerns. Summarizing can be helpful. It's critical to be caring, compassionate, and available to foster trusted adult relationships.
CARA: I mean, I'm worried about Jake cause Wyatt broke his phone. I'm not sure if it was an accident or not, but I don't think that matters because Jake wants to deal with it himself.
CARA: (nervous) I really don't wanna get Jake in trouble, he hasn't done anything wrong, but I think he might be planning something intense.
POWERS: Jake probably wasn't serious, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who would hurt anyone.
CARA: Yeah, that's what I thought too. But after talking with him, I dunno.
POWERS: You think he meant it?
CARA: (nervous) Maybe.
COACH: You minimized Cara's feelings by saying you didn't think Jake capable of violence. Relying on your knowledge of a student can be tempting but judging what they're capable of can be flawed. It's important to have a clear protocol and know when to share information with a counselor or administrator.
CARA: So what should I do?
POWERS: Don't worry about it anymore, okay? I'm gonna handle it.
CARA: Wait, what are you gonna do? Jake's gonna know it was me who told you!
COACH: You didn't give specifics but told Cara not to worry and that you were going to handle it. It can be confusing and upsetting to take control of a situation away from a student without being open about next steps. Reassure Cara that she did the right thing and that adults will handle it appropriately.
POWERS: I can't control what Jake thinks. And you can't either.
CARA: Yeah I know, but.
POWERS: Just try not to think about it.
CARA: (sighs)
COACH: You told Cara you couldn't control what Jake thinks like it wasn't your problem. When a student makes the choice to come forward, they can be nervous and upset themselves. It's important to be aware of what they're feeling not just in the moment, but in the following days.
CARA: (deflated) Okay, I guess I'm gonna go now.
POWERS: (nods) Alright. I'm glad you told me. Are you okay?
CARA: Sure. I just wanna go home.
POWERS: See you tomorrow.
CARA: I'm sorry, I'm probably just paranoid or something. Don't even worry about it.
POWERS: (friendly) Like I've said before, I'm always here whenever you all have something on your mind. What's going on?
COACH: You asked Cara if she would be okay to share with you what was going on, and she opened up to you. You're consistently demonstrating that you are available and care. This can encourage your student to share with you when something in their lives go well, or something is bothering them.
CARA: Well, you know my friend Jake? I'm worried about him. I just talked to him, and he was like, super upset about some stuff that went down today. He was kinda freaking me out.
POWERS: Thanks for telling me. (genuine) I'm sorry to hear about Jake, you're a good friend, so I understand why this is bothering you. I can tell you're upset about this.
CARA: Yeah, it was so weird, like not at all like him. I guess I sort of get it? Someone, I mean, his phone got broken this morning.
COACH: You sympathized with Jake's feelings and empathized with Cara's worries, reinforcing she was right to come to you. Modeling caring behavior shows students they can share problems and you'll help them. Fostering a safe school environment by directing appropriate resources to students who need them.
POWERS: I'd like to understand a little more about why you think Jake is feeling upset.
CARA: I don't know how it started, but. I'm not sure if you know Wyatt in our grade?
POWERS: (shrug) Not that well.
CARA: Like, last year, he and Jake used to be friends, but I guess something went down. Anyway, now Wyatt won't leave Jake alone.
POWERS: (nods) Mm. What do you mean, "Wyatt won't leave Jake alone?" What's going on?
CARA: (shrug) I wasn't there, but this morning, Wyatt grabbed Jake's phone and was messing with it and the screen got cracked or something.
COACH: By asking open ended questions you are encouraging Cara to share more about how things have been between Wyatt and Jake, what's going on between them now, and why Cara is so concerned.
POWERS: Wow, I see why Jake would be so upset if Wyatt broke his phone.
CARA: Yeah. See, I was telling him you'd get it if he came to talk to you, but he didn't want to listen to me. He wants to deal with it himself.
POWERS: "Deal with it himself" how?
CARA: (shrugs) He didn't say, exactly. But (shifting gears slightly) I dunno, I'm just worried.
CARA: I think he like, wasn't just talking about what he's gonna do. I think he's really gonna do it.
COACH: You sympathized with Jake's feelings of being upset about his phone breaking and your questions and concern allowed Cara to share more about how her conversation with Jake went. Depending on the situation, you can also offer to go talk to the student of concern yourself.
POWERS: I want to make sure I understand what you've told me, and how you're feeling.
CARA: Okay.
POWERS: You're concerned about Jake because it sounds like Wyatt intentionally broke Jake's phone and Jake is really upset about it.
POWERS: Wyatt and Jake were friends, but recently Wyatt's been harassing Jake for whatever reason.
POWERS: And you're worried that Jake might be thinking of doing something to handle the situation on his own that's not OK. Do I have all that right?
CARA: Yeah, exactly. But also.
COACH: You accurately summarized what Cara told you. It's important students know adults are listening and taking them seriously when they share concerns. Summarizing can be helpful. It's critical to be caring, compassionate, and available to foster trusted adult relationships.
CARA: (scared) I really don't know what he's planning to do to get back at Wyatt? Like I feel like he might be planning to, I don't even know, something intense.
POWERS: Tell me more about what you mean when you say Jake's planning something intense.
CARA: I'm not sure. When I talked to Jake, it was like I think he wants to get back at Wyatt. Like really do something to him. (beat) Something bad.
POWERS: What do you think Jake's planning to do?
CARA: I don't know. Hurt him maybe. Not sure how, he didn't say anything specific really.
POWERS: (nods) Okay. I'm glad you told me, that's the right thing to do when you're worried about someone's safety.
COACH: You asked Cara to elaborate about her use of the world "intense" to get a better understanding of what she felt like Jake was planning to do. Cara told you she thought Jake was planning to hurt Wyatt and you reinforced her for telling an adult.
CARA: So what should I do?
POWERS: You've done your part by coming forward and you can continue to be a good and supportive friend to Jake. Keep checking in with him to see how he's feeling and what he's thinking. Our number one concern is Jake's safety and everyone's safety. I'm going to reach out to Jake and also talk to the counselors and professionals here to make sure we get the right support involved.
CARA: But Jake's gonna find out and he'll know it was me.
COACH: You told Cara she did the right thing in coming forward and that you would make sure to get the right kind of help and support. This can keep everyone safe and help Jake deal with his issues. By reinforcing Cara made the right choice to come forward, it's more likely she'll do so in the future.
POWERS: If Jake asks you about us checking in with him, it's your choice what to tell him. If you feel comfortable saying you told me you were concerned about him, then I'm sure he'll understand. And if you don't want to tell him anything, you don't have to.
CARA: (nods) Okay.
POWERS: We just want to make sure Jake is okay and everyone stays safe.
COACH: You suggested Cara's in charge of how she presents the situation to Jake. When students decide to come forward, they can be nervous and upset. Continue to check back in with them. Remind them that telling an adult when you're concerned for someone's safety is caring for them and not snitching.
CARA: (cleansing breath) Thanks for listening. It might not be a thing really, but like you've said before, it's better to speak up.
POWERS: (nods) I'm really glad you told me. I know this is hard for you, coming and telling someone when you're worried about your friend. And I know you're concerned about your friendship with Jake, and how this might affect you. It's very important we look after each other.
CARA: (nods) For sure.
POWERS: You did the right thing telling me. Our number one concern is safety, so it's our responsibility as members of this school community to get this to the right people and keep following up. Keep me in the loop, if you hear anything or something else comes to mind, let me know. We want to keep everyone safe.
CARA: Will do.
POWERS: How are you feeling?
CARA: Weird, but better after talking. Thanks.