JACKIE: In our next scenario, Abigail is a transgender elementary student who has endured painful bullying. A group of girls repeatedly harassed her in the school restroom, telling her she didn’t belong. Abigail reported this to Ms. Dixon, who addressed and resolved the bullying.
During her investigation, Ms. Dixon uncovered an alarming detail - Abigail originally told another teacher, Mr. Walker, about a specific bullying incident a month ago during lunchtime. Even though Mr. Walker isn’t Abigail’s classroom teacher, he was on lunch duty and was the first person she came to. Unfortunately, it seems Mr. Walker did nothing to address it.
In this scenario, you will take on the role of Ms. Dixon. You happen to be in the teacher’s lounge with Mr. Walker during your lunch period. Your goal is to find out what Abigail told him about the bullying and why he didn’t report the incident. If needed, remind Mr. Walker of his responsibility to report bullying behavior. You may use the conversational tactics you’ve already learned to engage Mr. Walker.
Your Goals:
Fostering a culture where teachers take action whenever bullying is seen, heard, or reported, you’ll help targeted students feel safe and supported in school.
MS. DIXON: So how is everything, George?
MR. WALKER: Keepin' tight. Can't complain... Blew my damn knee out a while back and it's still givin' me hell, 'specially on the stairs out there.
MS. DIXON: (sympathetic) Ouch.
MR. WALKER: Ouch is right... But hey, good excuse to make the kids carry attendance forms to the front office. What about you, how's things?
MS. DIXON: I was wondering if we could talk about a situation that's come up with a student. Do you have a few minutes to chat?
MR. WALKER: I have nothin' but time. 'Til the bell rings. What's up?
MS. DIXON: The student's name is Abigail Jacobs, she's in the fifth grade?
MR. WALKER: (he doesn't recall) Um. Okay...
MS. DIXON: She came to me the other day and reported that she's been the repeated target of some... not nice things being done and said to her, particularly when she uses the bathroom near the cafeteria.
MR. WALKER: Ooph. Sounds rough. Sorry to hear.
FEEDBACK: Good job sticking to what Abigail told you and keeping a neutral tone. As a result, Mr. Walker seems open to talking with you.
MS. DIXON: She told me that she first reported this bullying to you.
MR. WALKER: To me?
MS. DIXON: Yeah, last month, during lunch? I don't recall you saying anything to me, and... I was hoping to get some more information about it.
MR. WALKER: (trying to recall) I'm not... (realizing) Ooooh, you're talking about- Right, right. Yeah, that's right, that- Yeah, it was during lunch.
MS. DIXON: Can you tell me what happened?
FEEDBACK: Good job using an open-ended question to encourage Mr. Walker to share his perspective on the situation.
MR. WALKER: Right, so it's lunch period, and I'm supervising, I'm standing near the bathrooms and he, um- she comes out and she's upset and I say, “What's wrong?” And... she tells me that the girls in the bathroom were calling her names, writing things on the mirror...
MS. DIXON: And what did you say?
MR. WALKER: I'm trying to... You know what it was, it was a Friday, and, I uh, told him not to worry about it, just walk away from the situation, use a different bathroom for now, and I'd follow up. And it was a Friday, and then the weekend, and... Whoosh. Slipped.
MS. DIXON: I know how things can get lost over the weekend. End of the week, everything's a blur, you're tired…
MR. WALKER: You can say that again...
MR. WALKER: So here's a question. Why can't he just... use the single stall bathroom on the first floor? Everyone wins.
MS. DIXON: (earnest but gentle) She identifies as a girl and she prefers to go by Abigail, and... we have to respect that. Everyone - students, teachers, staff - we all have to work to create an environment where all of our students feel safe and supported.
MR. WALKER: And I get that, I really do, but... Fine. She's Abigail; she's a girl... (but he can't quite let it go) While we're at it, I'd like to be referred to from now on as Mr. President. Can you make that happen?
MS. DIXON: George.
MR. WALKER: What?
MS. DIXON: (neutral tone, without judgment) All incidents of bullying needs to be properly reported. Abigail is allowed to use the bathroom that she's comfortable using, and students and staff have to respect that choice... And as soon as Abigail disclosed what had been happening to her, it was incumbent upon you to report it... I mean here we are, and it's been a month.
MR. WALKER: Okay, but... Look, I didn't know that....
MS. DIXON: Okay. Well...
MR. WALKER: It's just... I dunno... It's a little messed up is all.
MS. DIXON: George... I'm trying to help you keep your job.
MS. DIXON: This is serious stuff. I mean... If you were saying stuff like this in front of Abigail and her parents found out?...
MR. WALKER: What stuff?
MS. DIXON: "Him?"... "Confused?"
MS. DIXON: "Messed up?"
MS. DIXON: "Mister President?"
MS. DIXON: ...This is the stuff lawsuits are made of.
MS. DIXON: We're all trying to keep up, and... It can be a little overwhelming sometimes.
MR. WALKER: You can say that again... Sometimes I get to feelin', like... Just slow down. You know what I mean?
MS. DIXON: You know, if you'd like, I could give you a copy of the most recent regulations to look over.
MR. WALKER: Yeah, y'know what? Put it in my mailbox. Why not. Something for the bus.
MR. WALKER: Look, I gotta go set up for a class, but um... Keep me posted. Let me know how things go and if you need me to, uh... I dunno. Just let me know.
MS. DIXON: Of course. Will do.
MS. DIXON: So how is everything, George?
MR. WALKER: Keepin' tight. Can't complain... Blew my damn knee out a while back and it's still givin' me hell, 'specially on the stairs out there.
MS. DIXON: (sympathetic) Ouch.
MR. WALKER: Ouch is right... But hey, good excuse to make the kids carry attendance forms to the front office. What about you, how's things?
MS. DIXON: You didn't tell anyone about Abigail Jacobs being bullied.
MR. WALKER: Uuh... Who?
MS. DIXON: Abigail Jacobs, she's a student here, fifth grade. She came to me the other day and reported that she's been the repeated target of some... not nice things being done and said to her, particularly when she uses the bathroom near the cafeteria.
WALKER: (no recollection) Okay, but - slow down. Why would I have told anyone about any of this?
FEEDBACK: Your tone caught Mr. Walker off guard and made him uneasy. Try getting Mr. Walker’s side of the story by asking open-ended questions and explaining what Abigail told you, keeping a neutral tone.
MS. DIXON: You were there after an incident last month but you didn't do anything about it. As far as I know.
MR. WALKER: As far as you know.
MS. DIXON: Right.
MR. WALKER: But that's not stopping you from comin' at me, like (sigh) Look, I'm tryin' to figure out what you might be talking about, but... did she say she spoke to me?
FEEDBACK: Instead of making assumptions about Mr. Walker's role in Abigail's situation--which only makes him defensive--try getting his perspective by asking questions and keeping a neutral tone.
MS. DIXON: Yeah, last month, during lunch? I don't recall you saying anything to me, and... I was hoping to get some more information about it.
MR. WALKER: (trying to recall) I'm not... (realizing) Ooooh, you're talking about- Right, right. Yeah, that's right, that- Yeah, it was during lunch.
MS. DIXON: So this did happen? You know what I'm talking about?
MR. WALKER: Yeah, yeah... I remember now.
MS. DIXON: And?
MR. WALKER: (a little annoyed, yada yada yada) I was supervising lunch, he comes up and, he's... She comes up, saying some girls in the bathroom had called her a few names, said some mean things...
MS. DIXON: What did you say?
MR. WALKER: I'm trying to... You know what it was, it was a Friday, and, I uh, told him not to worry about it, just walk away from the situation, use a different bathroom for now, and I'd follow up. And it was a Friday, and then the weekend, and... Whoosh. Slipped.
MS. DIXON: Do you have an issue with Abigail?
MR. WALKER: What's that supposed to mean?
MS. DIXON: I don't know, I'm asking.
MR. WALKER: Y'know, it's feeling like you came in here with an agenda.
MS. DIXON: No, I'm just trying to understand what--
MR. WALKER: (overlapping) In fact, I'm feeling a little bullied here, like if you have something-
MS. DIXON: "Bullied?"
MR. WALKER: Yeah, I'm... Y'know. Uncomfortable with this conversation. Feels like you're ambushing me.
MR. WALKER: In fact... You got a problem, take it up with the front office. I gotta get to the MCU.
JACKIE: Good. By taking a stand for Abigail, you set a strong expectation for all bullying incidents to be reported. Of course, it can be frustrating when you get push-back from a colleague or feel like you’re alone in your efforts. Since it’s hard to tackle bullying alone, how can we make sure our whole school gets involved?
First, build an inclusive environment to encourage positive change. Second, motivate bystanders to become upstanders and allies who take decisive action. Finally, reach out to support targeted students and aggressors and connect them with support. Let’s take a closer look at each one...
Getting the School Involved:
An inclusive environment encourages acceptance and safety for everyone. When you make yourself a visible supporter, students like Gabriel, Stephanie, and Abigail know there is someone they can go to.
Being an LGBTQ ally and posting rainbow stickers shows you’re available to help those who may feel marginalized. This lets students of all backgrounds know they are welcome and accepted.
Inclusive Environment:
Next, motivate bystanders to become upstanders and allies. Make sure all staff and students are taught how to identify bullying, know how to report incidents, and understand what the school will do about it.
Post your anti-bullying policies throughout the school to support targeted students, discourage aggressive behavior, and remind adults that they should intervene whenever they see or hear bullying of any kind.
And make reporting easy for students. For example, have a box available to report bullying anonymously. When you maintain confidentiality, targets, and upstanders and allies can report incidents without fear of reprisal.
Motivate Bystanders to Become Upstanders and Allies:
Finally, when you reach out to aggressors and victims, not only can you help uncover and resolve issues, but you can also refer them to ongoing support, such as the school counselor.
You can also connect families to other anti-bullying educational programs and workshops. These courses help students and parents respond to bullying outside of school and raise awareness within their community.
Reach Out and Connect:
For more helpful ideas, be sure to visit the Resources section of your menu.
Every time you address biased language, reach out to a marginalized student, or enforce your school’s bullying and reporting policy, you have a direct, positive impact on your students. Thank you for making your school a better place to grow and learn.