WORKER: Hi. What’s your name?
SOFIA: Sofia Leon.
WORKER: (looking on computer) Um… I’m not seeing a…
SOFIA: (Interjecting) It may be under Joseph Leon.
WORKER: Oh, yeah, I see Joseph Leon. Is that you?
SOFIA: It is. Actually, it would be great to change that.
FEEDBACK: Now you play the role of this office worker. Choose what to say from your “TALK” menu.
WORKER: Thank you for letting me know, Sofia.
SOFIA: Sure.
FEEDBACK: Good job. Thanking Sofia and using the name provided shows courtesy and respect, which is a goal in any interaction you have with a client.
WORKER: I’d be happy to change that for you.
SOFIA: Thank you. I appreciate it.
FEEDBACK: Great job. Some office systems allow you to make simple name changes, while others have fields for a client’s “Preferred/Chosen Name” or at least a “Notes” section. Learn your office policies and, above all, always treat your clients’ name-change requests with respect.
WORKER: Hi. What’s your name?
SOFIA: Sofia Leon.
WORKER: (looking on computer) Um… I’m not seeing a…
SOFIA: (Interjecting) It may be under Joseph Leon.
WORKER: Oh, yeah, I see Joseph Leon. Is that you?
SOFIA: It is. Actually, it would be great to change that.
FEEDBACK: Now you play the role of this office worker. Choose what to say from your “TALK” menu.
WORKER: So wait... your name is “Joseph”?
SOFIA: Uhh... no. My name is Sofia.
WORKER: Well then why does it say “Joseph” here?
SOFIA: Uhh... Joseph is my old name, but I go by Sofia now, and that’s the name I want to use.
SOFIA THOUGHT: Ugh, not again. If my file said Sofia and said I go by “Sophie” no one would care… no one wouldn’t think twice.
FEEDBACK: Many people go by a different name from what’s on their ID. Use the name the person tells you, even if it is different than the name that appears in their file. Then you can respectfully clarify the discrepancy.
WORKER: So you’re transgender?
SOFIA: Uhh.... (startled)
FEEDBACK: Asking about a person’s trans status is intrusive and inappropriate. Furthermore, discussing it in a room of people puts them in danger for harassment and even assault. Please consult your state's laws about collecting "gender identity" information, as it may be different.
WORKER: Let me ask my supervisor. One minute…Gets on the phone
WORKER: (looks concerned and perplexed) Hey, I’ve got a guy up here who wants to change his name to “Sofia” in the system. Do I... what do I do?
SOFIA: --You know what, nevermind.
FEEDBACK: Calling Sofia a "guy" and using "his" are examples of misgendering and can be offensive and hurtful. Plus, discussing a client's trans status in a room of people puts them in danger of harassment and even assault. Undo this decision and select another option.
WORKER: But you’re a woman?
SOFIA: (frustrated) Yes!
FEEDBACK: Asking questions about Sofia’s gender shows a discomfort with transgender people and is disrespectful. Instead, treat Sofia’s request the same as you would any other client’s name-change. Undo this decision and select an option that is less invasive to Sofia’s privacy.
WORKER: But you're a man. Right?
SOFIA: No.
WORKER: I don’t blame you for wanting to change that! Why’d your parents give you a guy’s name?
SOFIA: (looks around, hoping no one heard, then more quietly...) Yeah, umm, so… Do you think you can change it?
FEEDBACK: Remember not to make assumptions about a person’s gender identity based on their outward appearance. Sofia may appear stereotypically feminine to you now, but that does not mean Sofia was assigned “female” at birth.
WORKER: Have you legally changed your name?
SOFIA: Not yet. SOFIA THOUGHT: Are you gonna to give me a hard time about this?
FEEDBACK: Make sure to treat Sofia’s request with the same respect you would provide a client who asked for a nickname change -- for example, a “William” who goes by “Bill.”
WORKER: I have a cousin who’s trans.
SOFIA: Oh. Uhm, okay. Cool.
WORKER: His name’s Tyrone Davidson. Do you know him?
SOFIA: I don’t… I don’t know that person. Uhhh... so, do you think you can change that name for me now?
SOFIA THOUGHT: Ugh! Not all trans people know each other!
FEEDBACK: Consider how inappropriate it would be to ask a client if they know someone who shares their ethnicity. This implies that trans people are so rare that they must know anyone else who is trans. Instead, just address Sofia’s request for a name change.
WORKER: You look great, by the way. I never would have guessed!
SOFIA: Ummm... thanks?
SOFIA THOUGHT: You know, you may think you’re giving me a compliment, but really, you’re just making me super uncomfortable.
FEEDBACK: Saying Sofia looks great by NOT looking transgender shows a bias against those who DO look trans. It also assumes that trans people all want to “pass” as NOT trans. This is hurtful language and does not show professionalism.
WORKER: Have you had surgery yet?
SOFIA: Um… (angry) Can you just change my name in the system, please?
FEEDBACK: First, asking about a client's genitals is unprofessional, insulting, and rude. It constitutes sexual harassment. Second, there is no one "surgery," and not all trans people choose to have surgery. Undo this decision and select a better option.
WORKER: Sorry, I can’t help you until you get a legal name change.
SOFIA: Eh. Okay…
FEEDBACK: There should be a better option than this. Some office systems allow you to make simple name changes, while others have fields for a client’s “Preferred/Chosen Name” or at least have a “Notes” section. Undo this decision and try again.
WORKER: I can’t change your name on the file until you get a legal name change, but I’m going to make a note in the system for your chosen name. That way we can use “Sofia” when we’re speaking with you. Would that be okay?
SOFIA: Yes, thanks.
WORKER: Alright. There may still be some places where your legal name appears, like bills and forms. But at least we’ll know your correct name when you come in.
SOFIA: I understand.
WORKER: Would you like the name of the office where you can apply for a legal name change?
SOFIA: I have it, but thank you. I appreciate it.
FEEDBACK: Great job! Some systems allow you to make simple name changes, while others have fields for “Chosen/Preferred” Name. or at least a “Notes” section. Learn your office policies and, above all, always treat your clients’ name-change requests with respect.
MONICA: So we talked a little about how biased language and attitudes can affect residents who use our services. Now let’s examine how bias can affect people working in our offices.
MONICA: One study showed that many LGBTQ employees who are not out to their colleagues think their coworkers would be uncomfortable if they knew, fear it would damage their relationships with them, and/or are afraid their coworkers might not keep it confidential.
LGBTQ Employees who are not Out as LGBTQ felt their coworkers would…
(Status of LGBTQ Health: Santa Clara County 2013)
RALPH: When anyone overhears biased language or witnesses harassment in the office, I’m counting on them to intervene - to be an advocate in the office. It can be more effective not to “call the person out,” but to “bring them in.”
MONICA: First, address the behavior in the moment to make it clear that biased and rude language is not acceptable. Then, if possible, talk with the person separately, so you can respectfully explain how their comments could be hurtful to others. Instead of embarrassing or provoking the person, you are gaining the opportunity to address their behavior in a constructive way.
Effectively Advocate:
MONICA: I do want to mention, though, that “calling out” may be the only option if the people involved don’t share the same status or have different levels of power in society. In this case, a private conversation may not be safe or may not resolve the offensive behavior.
RALPH: I was in a similar situation last week. My coworker, Jeff, said some inappropriate things in the breakroom. There were other coworkers present and, though I’m not his supervisor, I felt like I needed to speak up.