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If you have known someone like this, maybe you spoke to them about your concerns. Or maybe you didn't feel comfortable or didn't think it was your place to do so.

Let's talk about what works and what doesn't in these types of conversations.

1. Explain why you're concerned.

First, explain why you're concerned in a way that won't make the person defensive. For example, if you said, "I'm concerned about you. You sleep all day and get drunk every night," I don't think this would go over very well. First, it sounds like criticism. Second, it seems like an exaggeration. This person may not sleep "all" day or get drunk "every" night. If they think you're exaggerating, they'll just deny it, and the conversation won't move forward.

When you bring up your concerns, be specific. Just the facts. It would be better to say, "You sleep later now than you used to; and, in the last few months, you've been drinking more nights than not." You could soften it even more by adding phrases like "it seems like," "it appears to me," "I think," or "I've noticed." This lets the other person know that it's just how things seem to you, so it leaves more room for discussion.

When you mention specific behaviors, and add a phrase like "I think" to soften your words, it would be hard to deny this statement--especially if you keep a very neutral tone when you say it. If you're having this conversation with a returning veteran, hopefully explaining your concerns will lead them to tell you what's happening. They might admit to having trouble transitioning to civilian life.