PIC 0: The titlecard with the words “Supporting a Friend” is displayed. The screen fades again to Ruby.
RUBY: Have you ever had a friend come to you and you can tell they've got something on their mind or they're stressed and you try to talk them through it, but you end up wishing you had said something different? I know I have… so it’s something I’ve been trying to work on.
I know how important it is to talk to a trusted friend when you’re struggling, worried or stressed. Here are some things that’ve helped me be that friend.
I don’t know about you, but I ask, like, a lot of questions. And sometimes they aren’t always the right questions, y’know?
Okay, so let me explain: Asking questions can help your friend open up and feel comfortable sharing with you.
Some questions can just kinda… end the conversation. Or make it harder to really talk about what’s going on.
It’s good to start with open ended questions which are questions that don’t have a “yes” or “no” answer and are usually better at getting at how your friend might be feeling. Here, try to find the open ended questions:
PIC 1: A banner appears next to Ruby with the words “Open ended Questions” and an image of a question mark within a speech bubble.
PIC 2: Screen fades to a fullscreen question prompt with choices: “Select ALL the Open Ended Questions.”
PIC 3: Screen returns to Ruby.
RUBY: Nice work! And speaking of open ended questions, it's easy to tune out when you feel like you're being lectured.
So if you feel like you want to give advice, which, c'mon, we all like to give advice from time to time, try framing it like a question.
PIC 4: Another banner appears next to Ruby with the words “Frame advice as a question.”
PIC 5: Screen fades to a fullscreen text example with a thumbnail of a person next to it.
Instead of: “Smoking weed is really bad for your health and could affect whether or not you reach your goals.”
You could say: “How do you think smoking weed might affect your goals?”
PIC 6: Screen returns to Ruby.
RUBY: I try to be positive, but sometimes I end up brushing off my friends’ concerns, even when I don’t mean to. Making them feel like I’m not listening to them, even though I really am trying!
PIC 7: A banner with the words “Stay positive” appear next to Ruby.
I learned the difference is that staying positive doesn't always mean you have to agree with everything your friends say or try to, you know, 'cheer them up.'
It means speaking honestly and focusing on the good parts of the situation… and also just letting them be upset or frustrated and letting them know, you’re there for them.
Here, check these out and choose the ones that feel positive to you.
PIC 8: Screen fades to a selection of statements that read:
Select ALL the statements that feel positive.
I think you handled that really well.
That sounds like a tough situation.
How did that make you feel?
Feedback: Nice work! Those were all examples of staying positive when talking with a friend about a tough situation.
PIC 9: Screen returns to Ruby.
RUBY: Have you ever been trying to talk to someone about something that’s bothering you… and they were like, ‘Oh yeah… I know exactly how you feel!“ and then they just go on and on about themselves?
Ugh. It’s so frustrating!
It’s important to show your friend you understand them, especially if you’ve had a similar experience.
PIC 10: A banner appears next to Ruby with the words “Show you understand.”
Next time you’re talking with a friend, try sharing some of your experience, then asking them a question about their experience.
Check out these examples and see if you can pick out the ones that show understanding.
PIC 11: Screen fades to a selection of statements that read:
Select ALL the options you feel show understanding for when a friend is feeling pressured.
“That happened to me before, too. I just told them about my goals and they understood. What are some things that are important to you?”
“I understand that you are upset right now. This has happened to me before, too. What can I do to help?”
“That happened to me, too! You should just try telling them about your goals”
Feedback: It’s great to share with a friend a similar experience. You could also try reframing with an open ended question.
PIC 12: Screen returns to Ruby.
RUBY: Great! So now that you have this plan, we’re going to talk with my friend Dan about a situation he's struggling with.
He was invited to a party where there might be alcohol, and he’s feeling unsure about what to do next.
Here are those techniques one more time:
PIC 13: A fullscreen chart appears with images of gold, silver, and bronze medals.
In this conversation you’re going to get the chance to practice the three techniques you just learned: Ask Questions, Stay Positive, Show You Understand. At the end of the conversation you’ll be offered feedback on the choices you made. You’ll get a badge in gold, silver, or bronze for each technique to show how well you used it.
PreConversation Text
PIC 14: An image of a phone with text messages appear and thumbnails of Ruby and Dan.
DAN: RUBY! I just got invited to a theatre party! There’s going to be seniors there.
RUBY: Ah! That’s awesome!
DAN: I’m freaking out! I wanna go but…. You know how those parties can be.
RUBY: Ya totally… what are you going to do?
DAN: Do you have a min to Video Call?