MALCOLM: It can be really hard when a friend tells you about something bad that happened to them.. I’ll never forget when you told me about what happened to you. You didn’t tell anyone for what, almost a year?
ALEX: Yeah. After the assault I was mad at myself. Ashamed. I did’t want to think about it, let alone talk about it. I mean, how do you tell someone a thing like that? The first time I opened up was to you.
MALCOLM: When you told me, I was worried I might say the wrong thing.
ALEX: That’s funny, because I was scared, too, of what you might think if you’d believe me, but you immediately made me feel safe.
MALCOLM FLASHBACK: “I’m so sorry that happened. I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
MALCOLM: After you told me, I had so many questions.
ALEX: I wans’t really ready to answer any of them. So instead, Malcolm gave me the room to tell my story, in my time and in my way. He was there to listen, not interrogate, and that’s what I needed right then.
MALCOLM: You shared your story, and some of your fears.
ALEX Flashback:
ALEX: That was me thinking everyone would blame me.
MALCOLM: The victim is never to blame. I just tried to listen and be supportive. Once you told your story, we talked about what you wanted to do next. At the time we had no idea what the options were. So I asked if she wanted to figure it out together.
Confidential Support: will not report what you tell them unless they believe you’re in danger:
Non Confidential / Mandatory Reporters: must report what you tell them to campus authorities:
To find your school’s options, visit the Resources section.
MALCOLM: While we talked about options, I made sure Alex knew it was her choice. Whatever she decided, I was there for her.
ALEX: Take a look at some scenarios and decide what options seem best.
A student found out that his date took intimate pictures without his knowledge. He wants to talk to someone confidentially about how he’s feeling and what he might be able to do.
Incorrect options:
Correct options:
MALCOLM: Since he’s looking for someone confidential and does’t need medical help, the confidential advocate and the counseling services office are good options.
ALEX: The confidential advocate can suggest possible actions to take, and the counseling services office can provide emotional support.
A student wants to switch classes to avoid her ex boyfriend, who’s been stalking and harassing her.
Incorrect options:
Correct options:
ALEX: The best options are the Title IX coordinator or the Dean of Students Office because they can take direct action for her.
Your roommate walks into your room bloody and confused, with ripped clothing. You earn’t sure what happened but you want to help.
Incorrect options:
Correct options:
ALEX: Medical professionals can give her immediate medical attention and can also help preserve evidence. Other options are the police or campus security, both of which can judge if there’s any more risk of danger and help with next steps, including legal action.
After an assault and before a medical/legal exam don’t:
For all types of sexual misconduct, try to document and save evidence, such as:
MALCOLM: Next, you’ll play as Wes and to talk to one of your best friends, Becky. The past few days, Becky hasn’t been her usual cheerful self. As you two were walking back to her room to study, you passed Tom, Becky’s ex. That seemed to throw her off, and you want to check in with her.
ALEX: Make sure she knows you’re there for her. Remember to listen, giving her space to tell you what’s on her mind.
MALCOLM: If she needs extra support, discuss the options that might help.