Pic 0: A title card appears that reads “Resisting Requests for Your Stimulant Medication” before transitioning to Wes in front of a blank background.
WES: Let’s talk about that excuse I gave my friend, when he first asked for my A.D.H.D. meds.
Pic 1: A word bubble appears next to Wes that reads “I don’t have any on me.”
WES: I said, “I don’t have any on me,” So later, he texted to ask if he could stop by and pick up a couple pills. It was hard enough to turn him down the first time, but now I had to do it again.
You see, I really wanted him to do well on his paper and, I didn’t want him to think I was just blindly following the rules. But after my research, it wasn’t someone else’s rule, it was mine. So I explained I didn’t think it was a good idea to give him any of my pills. He respected that and we’re still buddies. but it doesn’t always work out that easy.
Pic 2: The screen transitions to a scene of four college students, including Wes, sitting around a table doing work. Two girls sit on a couch, and one has a pill bottle in her hand offering it towards the other girl.
WES: Like at a study group I was in freshman year, my friend Jada turned to her friend next to her and offered to share an A.D.H.D. pill all sly like, but we saw it and joked that she should’ve brought enough for everyone. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time, and we were all trying to make new friends, but Jada said people started hitting her up a lot after that.
Pic 3: The screen transitions back to Wes.
WES: It was weird trying to figure out if someone wanted to hang out just so they could ask her for a pill. She was in a lot of awkward situations to turn people down.
Pic 4: The screen transitions to a still scene of Wes at a house party, holding potato chips and talking to another guy.
WES: It reminded me of last year, after one of those parties we hosted, someone I knew said he was looking for some sleeping pills, or asked if I had any leftover pain pills from my accident. He said he was all wired from some of the other stuff he did that night and just needed some help coming down. I told him combining stuff was pretty dangerous and suggested he may be better off taking a walk than looking for more pills. I wanted to help but it bothered me that he’d ask me for pills straight up like that, like he was trying to see what else he could get out of our friendship.
Pic 5: The screen returns to Wes. A citation appears next to Wes: “Vrecko, 2015. Checton and Greene, 2011. Holt and colleagues, 2018.”
WES: How I felt when asked, kind of conflicted and maybe a little annoyed, isn’t uncommon. Even among students who gave some of their A.D.H.D. prescription away, about 39 percent said they felt manipulated. Students who’ve asked friends for pills admitted using manipulation tactics with their own friends, such as dropping hints, giving compliments or guilt trips, and offering exchanges, like alcohol.
Jada, she got fed up with these not so subtle moves so she started telling new friends and roommates from the start, “Don’t ask me for my pills.”
I usually only talk about my prescription with close friends, so I’m not dealing with random requests all the time.
Still, it’s mostly friends asking me for meds, people I know and like. I’ve figured out a few ways to let them down easy so it isn’t a problem.
Pic 6: Text appears next to Wes that reads “Refusal Strategies” with a symbol of a hand held up in a stop signal. After a moment, the word “Explanation” appears underneath the previous text. A word bubble appears underneath that reads “I can’t, I need these to concentrate.” After a moment, the word “Internal” appears below the word bubble. There is a citation in the corner: “Holt and colleagues, 2020. Wright and O’Hair, 1999. Harrington, 1995.”
WES: Sometimes all I have to do is explain why I can’t. I could say: “I can’t, I need these to concentrate.”
That’s an internal explanation because it’s why I made the decision to keep the medication I need.
Pic 7: The word bubble and the word “Internal” disappear, and the word “External” appears. After a moment, a word bubble appears that reads “I can’t. My doctor won’t give me a refill if I run out too soon.”
WES: An external explanation is similar, but brings another person into it, like: “I can’t. My doctor won’t give me a refill if I run out too soon.”
A survey of students found that explanations are one of the most effective ways to refuse a request.
Pic 8: The word bubble and “External” disappears. “Explanation” is replaced by “Alternative.” Two word bubbles appear underneath. One reads “Maybe an energy drink or coffee will help” and the other reads “How about I stay up and study with you instead?”
WES: A survey of students found that explanations are one of the most effective ways to refuse a request.
Pic 9: The word bubbles disappear, and “Alternative” is replaced with “Direct Refusal.” A word bubble appears underneath that reads “No.”
WES: It’s kind of easy to “just say no,” and it is effective at stopping the conversation. If you’re comfortable with that: cool.
Pic 10: The previous word bubble is replaced by one which reads “Oh yeah, I know what you mean, it’s hard to keep studying for so long. But I don’t give away my prescription.”
WES: You could also add something supportive like:
“Oh yeah, I know what you mean, it’s hard to keep studying for so long. But I don’t give away my prescription.”
Pic 11: The word bubble disappears, and “Direct Refusal” is replaced by “Excuse.” A word bubble appears which reads “Uh, hold on a second, I’m getting a phone call.”
WES: Or sometimes I’ve made an excuse, like “Uh, hold on a sec, I’m getting a phone call.”
I’ve learned that’s not the best way to let people down, it doesn’t send a clear message and most likely I’ll keep getting asked.
Pic 12: The word bubble disappears, and “Alternative” replaces “Excuse.” A word bubble appears that reads “Nah, let’s stick with our coffees.”
WES: These strategies also work if a friend offers me a pill that I don’t want. I might say.
“Nah, let’s stick with our coffees.”
Pic 13: The word bubble disappears, and “Explanation” replaces “Alternative.” A new word bubble appears which reads “My A.D.H.D. meds interact with a lot of other stuff, I’d hate to ruin things with a trip to the ER.”
WES: Or “My A.D.H.D. meds interact with a lot of other stuff, I’d hate to ruin things with a trip to the ER.”
Whatever strategy feels most comfortable is fine. Even when I’m getting real with someone, they’re still my friend and I want to keep it that way. So I try to show I care, and I’m not judging, even if I’m not going along with it.
You’ll get to watch a practice conversation between Abby and Kate.
Pic 14: The screen changes to one with two women, one named Abby and another named Kate.
WES: Abby has A.D.H.D. and is taking a prescription for it. She’s helping her friend Kate study for an Economics test she’s stressing over. It’s the least Abby can do for her, Kate’s helped Abby though other classes and through at least one embarrassing moment. Abby really values her friendship, so she wants to try to find the best ways to help Kate without shutting her down.