COACH: You asked a leading closed-ended question, however asking a neutral open-ended question, like “What resources do we offer?” can invite someone to respond more thoughtfully.
RASHAD: But before we get to that,
RASHAD: When you don’t listen to us, it makes us feel like it doesn’t matter how hard we work.
MARSHA: Is that how you feel? Like I don’t listen to you?
RASHAD: We’re tired. Frustrated that we can’t do our jobs as well as we’d like. You see us going through this every day, but you’ve never asked how the change is affecting us. To me, that’s not listening.
MARSHA: (frustrated) What about the team meetings? The training sessions? We create lots of opportunities for the team to express themselves, and I’ve tried to make sure everyone’s prepared for the new staffing and what it entails.
COACH: You said “When you don’t listen to us, it makes us feel,” this accused Marsha of not listening, and then spoke for your colleagues feelings. Focus an “I” statement on your feelings or on what you’ve heard from others, and it will be less likely to invite defensiveness or disagreement.
RASHAD: Isn’t there anything more the administration can do?
MARSHA: We’re doing all we can, Rashad.
COACH: You asked a closed-ended question that implied judgment that the administration wasn’t doing enough. Asking a neutral open-ended question, like “How can the administration help?” can invite someone to respond more thoughtfully.
JOSEPH: Later, Rashad receives an email from Marsha. It reads,
Rashad, I want you to know that I’ve thought a lot about what you said to me today. While I understand that you’re upset about your experience with feeling rushed, it really feels like you’re projecting your frustration onto me and the rest of the organization. I recommend you spend some more time going over the new protocols. I think you’ll find that, if you’re willing to put in the work, they’ll work for you, too.
Best, Marsha
Ineffective Dashboard Example:
Overall Result: Needs Improvement. Marsha heard the frustration with staffing changes, but wasn’t sure if Rashad was identifying a systemic problem or just venting. She recommended Rashad give the new protocols more of a chance.
Feedback on Techniques: