RASHAD: Hey, Marsha. Thanks for taking a moment to talk with me.
MARSHA: I’ve always got time for you, Rashad. What’s up?
RASHAD: Well, it’s just.
MARSHA: (concerned) Hey. Is everything okay?
RASHAD: It’s these staffing cutbacks.
RASHAD: You haven’t been giving us the support we need to make these new protocols work.
MARSHA: (taken aback) What do you? Rashad, where is this coming from?
COACH: You accused Marsha of not “giving us the support we need,” This can be a challenging way to start a discussion. Try centering an “I” statement around how you are feeling, which puts less pressure on Marsha to be defensive.
RASHAD: Like, that one patient who got so worked up about vaccines.
MARSHA: We talked about that, Rashad. I know you and that interaction. I’m confident that was just a blip.
RASHAD: But, I’ve been replaying that visit in my head and, that wasn’t my fault. I asked about her vaccination history and she kinda took the conversation down a rabbit hole. I wanted to share the science and dispel some misinformation, but she was not having it. Probably, because I had to speed through everything because I already had my next patient waiting.
MARSHA: Mm-hm. Well.
MARSHA: I know that interaction upset you. And I’m sorry that happened. But I think, I hope, you’ll find that if you follow the protocols we have in place now, those bad experiences will be few and far between.
RASHAD: You have no idea how much this is impacting patient care.
MARSHA: That seems a little exaggerated, don’t you think?
RASHAD: No, I don’t.
MARSHA: You’re not talking about this impacting the patients, Rashad. You’re talking about it impacting you. And.
COACH: You stated your concern with an accusation against Marsha, “You have no idea,” This can be a challenging way to start a discussion. Try centering an “I” statement around your own feelings, such as “I don’t feel like that’s happening,” This puts less pressure on Marsha to respond defensively.
MARSHA: I can’t just snap my fingers and, and, POOF, there’s a policy change. (calms) It’s not like leadership put a bunch of ideas in a hat and picked them out at random. We put a lot of thought into these changes. You’ve just, gotta trust us.
COACH: It looks like your approach has put Marsha on the defensive. Look to show her you’re willing to listen to her perspective by asking an open-ended question.
RASHAD: Aren’t you worried that doing nothing will make it seem like you don’t care?
MARSHA: (frustrated) I do care, Rashad. And backing your section head into a corner? That’s not helpful.
COACH: You asked a closed-ended question that implied judgment. Asking a neutral open-ended question like “What’s the best way to,” allows someone to respond openly and less defensively.
MARSHA: I’ve heard some of these same concerns from a couple people on the team, but you’re the first one to actually seek me out to talk about it.
RASHAD: I just, didn’t want to risk this flying under your radar. It’s a real thing.
MARSHA: I get that. I’m just working hard right now to help get us through this transition. That’s what I’m asking from the team, as well. Work hard and help get us to the other side.
COACH: Look to reframe Marsha’s concerns by using neutral “I” statements of Rashad’s observations or feelings.
RASHAD: Everyone else will back me up, if you’d just ask.
MARSHA: (curt) Well, I’ll be sure to do my due diligence, of course.
MARSHA’S THOUGHT: I’ll just add that to my list. My very, very long list.
COACH: You said “Everyone else will back me up,” which spoke for your colleagues put pressure on Marsha to react defensively or disagree. Try centering an “I” statement around how you are feeling and what you’ve heard from the team.
MARSHA: It can be tough, I know. (sighs) I just hope you’re doing what you need to take care of yourself, Rashad.
RASHAD: (shrugs)
RASHAD: Well, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?
MARSHA: We play with the hand we’re dealt, and we choose to win with it, or we don’t.
RASHAD: I,
MARSHA: Mm-hmm?
RASHAD: Nothing.