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Now, let’s talk about how to reach each of those five goals.

To show clear disapproval of underage drinking, you want to be very clear that you do not want your child to drink. Sean knows exactly where I stand. I leave no room for him to doubt that I disapprove of him drinking. You want to avoid sending any mixed messages like, “It’s okay to drink as long you don’t drink too much.”

Also, don’t spend too much time telling your own “war stories” of drinking or else your child may see drinking as a rite of passage. If you’re asked whether you drank as a child, try to keep your answer short, emphasize the consequences and your regret, and move on.

Your child may be invited to parties where there turns out to be drinking. It’s up to you to decide how to handle this. On the SAMHSA website, there is a “family-agreement form” you might want to use to make a deal that you’ll pick them up from any such gathering without being upset because their safety is your biggest concern.