Ms. Abbie: Kira?
Kira: (stewing mad) What! Ugh!
Ms. Abbie: (pauses) Wanted to chat.
Kira: (dismissive) Whatever
Ms. Abbie: Maybe we can do a little reset, take a breath. What do you think about doing that together?
Coach: A small breathing activity together helps both of you for different reasons: you can refocus and recenter so you can stay calm, they can try and regulate and return to a point of being able to talk.
Kira: (shrugs)
Ms. Abbie: What about square breathing together? Like we do at the beginning of class sometimes?
Kira: I don’t know (trails off).
Ms. Abbie: It’s your choice whether you’d like to join me. Other students have found breathing helpful when, when they’re having intense feelings. So, it might help you too.
Kira: (pauses) Okay.
Ms. Abbie: Alright. In, hold, out, hold. One more time?
Kira: (nods)
Ms. Abbie: In, hold, out, hold, okay. Thank you for doing that with me.
Kira’s thought: Okay, that helped me feel a little better.
Ms. Abbie: I want to hear more about your experience today.
Coach: Ms. Abbie showed that she was open to hearing about their experience, which showed understanding.
Ms. Abbie: What was it like for you at recess?
Kira: Weird. Gross.
Ms. Abbie: (nods)
Kira: And then they got mad at me, and it made me sad. I was just at recess, having a good time, and then Charla was like, c’mon, check this out, so I was like okay, and then I went over, and everyone there was like, they found these fruit snacks on the ground, like, spilled out. And everyone was saying I had to like, eat one.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) And you didn’t want to do that. You thought it was kind of gross.
Kira: Yeah, eating food off the ground is super weird and gross! But then everyone started calling me, they were calling me a baby, and saying I couldn’t do it. I could, I just, I didn’t want to. So (pauses) I yelled. And maybe (pauses) pushed a little.
Ms. Abbie: So, you were uncomfortable when they asked you to eat off the ground.
Kira: Yeah, of course. It’s weird!
Coach: Ms. Abbie used a complex reflection to show understanding.
Kira: And they weren’t, like, listening to me. I said no, but then they kept (trails off, shrugs).
Ms. Abbie: (nods) In class, I’ve seen you keep yourself focused, you know, in situations where other people are getting a little wild.
Coach: This was a great example of affirming the student’s positive choice with a neutral observation.
Kira: (nods) I try. Us talking before, it helped. In class and, wherever.
After we talked, I really tried, I tried to be better in school. But (sigh).
Ms. Abbie: (taking a moment to reset) Well, since we’re talking about it, in terms of how school is feeling for you in general, I also wanted to ask about those strategies we brainstormed before. You know, about what you can do in class when you feel those intense emotions. Kind of like what happened today. Before, we mentioned thinking about going to see Ms. Ines, the school counselor and we said we’d try to check in again, to see what’s working and what we could do better. So, since we’re here together, how’s all that feeling?
Kira: Honestly (shrugs, looks away, long beat) Not good.
Ms. Abbie: If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d like to hear a little more about how you’ve been feeling recently.
Coach: Nice work! You used an open-ended question to try to understand more about what the student is experiencing.
Kira: (shrugs) I guess (pauses) last time if I was feeling like, like a dark cloud? This time it’s raining.
Ms. Abbie: What do you mean by that?
Kira: It like, follows me. Like no matter where I go, there’s always this big, rainy (pauses) cloud.
Ms. Abbie: (nods)
Kira: It’s bad.
Ms. Abbie: You’re still feeling sad, and, and you miss your cousin.
Coach: Ms. Abbie effectively used a complex reflection to understand the student’s feelings.
Kira: (nods, pauses) Yeah. He always, he knew what to say to me when I was sad. Always made me feel okay.
When I fall asleep, sometimes I talk with him. My cousin. That makes me feel better. Ms. Abbie: (nods)
Kira: But then I wake up. And he’s gone, and I want to see him again. So, maybe it’s better to just, stay asleep. And be wherever he is.
Ms. Abbie: Sometimes when people are having feelings like this, they might be thinking about dying. Or suicide. Have you been having thoughts like that?
Coach: It’s always okay to ask about suicide. You won’t put the idea in their head by asking.
Kira: (nods) Sometimes. Going to be with my cousin. What that’d be like.
Ms. Abbie: When I’m feeling intense emotions? One of the people I like talking with the most is Ms. Ines, the school counselor. She always knows just what to say.
Kira: (nods)
Ms. Abbie: Would you like to go visit her with me?
Coach: Ms. Abbie was able to connect with the student and show support by going with them to see the counselor.
Kira: Maybe? I don’t know.
Ms. Abbie: Well, I care about you. I want to keep talking with you, and also think, at this point, the counselor could help us both.
Kira: (pauses) Okay. I’m glad you’re going to be there.
Ms. Abbie: Me too. Ready to go?
Kira: (nods) Okay.
Overall Results:
Ms. Abbie did a good job helping Kira connect with the school counselor. She asked Kira what she thought and Kira felt comfortable going with Ms. Abbie. She knows Ms. Abbie is there for here and there are resources to help her.