Mister Wesley: Some students start with one option, like telling someone outside of the school they trust, and then consider the others afterward. But, in the end, all of this is your choice.
Picture 5: Jules looks unsure.
Jules: Um, I guess we could talk about that some more.
Mister Wesley decides to Discuss Outside Support and chooses to say, "If you haven't talked with someone supportive like a therapist, or a religious or spiritual leader, you should definitely do that."
Jules: Uh, let me, let me think about it. I don't know any religious or, or spiritual people, and, and a therapist, I, I don't know. It just feels kind of weird.
Coach: Mister Wesley told Jules, "you should definitely do that." In general, the word "should" puts up defenses and suggests that there are few, if any, choices. He should try to give Jules as much control as possible over the situation.
Mister Wesley decides to Share Opinion and says, "You definitely need all the support you can get."
Jules: (ashamed) Uh huh.
Coach: Telling Jules she needs all the support she can get is judgmental. She feels embarrassed rather than supported by Mister Wesley. If Jules consents, Mister Wesley can share support options, but he should avoid pushing her into anything.
Jules: Anything else before we, you know, go back to talking about the group assignments?
Mister Wesley decides to Wrap Up and says, "No, I think we can find a solution to the group assignments for now."
Coach: As an employee with a duty to report, when Jules discloses a situation that might involve interpersonal violence and sexual misconduct, Mister Wesley has an obligation to share this information with the guidance office. He needs to tell Jules about his duty to report, and to explain why and tell her he won't share the information with anyone else.
Mister Wesley: Before we wrap up today, I want to let you know a little more about my responsibilities here. As a teacher here, I have a responsibility to keep students, all students, as safe as I can. That means when someone shares something with me that sounds concerning. I have an obligation to make sure the right people know, so our students know their options and can get connected to support. If a student shares something about sexual assault, relationship violence, stalking, or sexual harassment, I have to share that information with the guidance office so they can check in on the student, share options, and connect them to any other resources. The goal is, I want to do whatever I can to connect the student I'm helping to resources. Help them understand their options. Before I say anything else, I want to give you a chance to ask, or share, whatever you want.
Jules: Yeah, yeah, okay. That's, yeah. What would you say to other people at the school?
Mister Wesley decides to Check In and says, "Does it matter what I share?"
Jules: Uh, yeah, I mean, yeah.
Mister Wesley: You understand there's some info I have to share, right? Like.
Jules: Like what?
Mister Wesley: Like, your name, so they can reach out to check in with you.
Jules: Uh huh.
Coach: When Mister Wesley asks Jules if it matters what he shares, he is minimizing her feelings and keeping information from her. This is a very personal process. He should try talking as openly with Jules as he can.
Mister Wesley decides to Share Responsibilities and says, "But there's a reason I have to make a report, so I would encourage you to share."
Jules: Um, okay.
Coach: Rather than telling Jules this is out of her hands and having her feel powerless, Mister Wesley should try telling Jules why he needs to share this information with the guidance office. He should explain that he won't share the information with anyone else, and the guidance office will reach out to her to discuss what she wants to do. This would help Jules see Mister Wesley's on her side, supporting her.
Jules: Anyway, I think I'm gonna head out.
Mister Wesley: So, maybe you can give me a list of a few people you're okay being around? And then I can make sure you're only with them.
Jules: Yeah, I can email you that list.
Coach: If you ask a student to provide a list of other students they want to work with, consider asking for a certain number that makes it so the student doesn't just pick their friends, and not so many people that it could reveal the person's identity.
Jules: I guess, I'll go.
Mister Wesley: Of course. Let me know if anything else comes up.
Mister Wesley did not provide support to Jules during their conversation. She knows there are other resources available to her if she chooses to use them. Jules understands Mister Wesley's role as a mandatory reporter, and how he will report information she discloses to him.
Mister Wesley missed the opportunity to show Jules he was there for her. To show Jules he supports her, he could've said:
"I get this can be scary. We can contact the guidance office together, or I can send you a copy of what I wrote."
There were also moments when Jules felt like Mister Wesley was judging her rather than trying to understand where she was coming from. He said, "Do you think you might be overreacting, just a little?"
Jules didn't feel like she had space to share her story her way. Mister Wesley should have tried to show her that he's on her side and open to hearing what she has to say without judgment or agenda. He could've said, "What other questions do you have about the report I have to make?"
There were also moments when Mister Wesley asked judgmental or personal questions. He doesn't need this information in order to help Jules. He said, "Does it matter what I share?"
Mister Wesley missed the opportunity to discuss options and next steps with Jules so she could see what choices she was comfortable with. He could've said, "As an option, there are anonymous resources like text lines you can consider, especially as a starting place."
There were also moments when Jules felt Mister Wesley was pushing her to make a choice rather than giving her room to decide for herself. He said, "But there's a reason I have to make a report, so I would encourage you to share."