Pic 0: The title card appears before the screen returns to the group at the table.
Amira: Our goal is to create an inclusive campus where everyone can succeed and thrive. But, in order to do that we have to have intentional, meaningful, and occasionally courageous conversations around DEI.
Eve: These kinds of conversations are especially important when someone’s words or actions have been harmful, no matter their intent. They are essential in allowing us to heal and grow.
Frank: Take for instance, when my colleague Jeremy texted me for advice.
Pic 1: The screen changes to one which has an image of a phone with a text message thread between Frank and Jeremy, which reads
Frank: Hey Jeremy, what seems to be the issue?
Jeremy: I emailed Nathan to let him know I scheduled a meeting with him and one of my struggling students. I thought they might relate, but Nathan hasn’t responded. I’m not sure why.
Pic 2: The screen returns to the group at the table.
Frank: Turns out he told a Black colleague, Nathan, to mentor one of his Black students.
Amira: Yes, it can be powerful to have a mentor who may have shared experiences, but that doesn’t mean we can expect or force someone to take on more work.
Frank: It would’ve been so easy for me to jump to telling Jeremy what he’d done wrong. To tell him it’s not okay to assume Nathan was interested and available to take on the extra responsibility. And that it’s not okay to make assumptions based on race. But there are better ways to help someone understand.
Eve: Here are some steps to consider when approaching these types of conversations:
Pic 3: The screen changes to a slide with the following information:
Create Space to Talk
Understand Impact
Brainstorm Next Steps
Pic 4: The screen returns to the group at the table.
Amira: So, let’s talk about some specific techniques that can help you navigate these kinds of conversations.
Frank: You can establish a welcoming tone by asking open-ended questions. Questions that invite more thoughtful and complete responses, and help you better understand their behavior. As opposed to close-ended questions that are usually answered in one word, like yes or no.
Eve: Ask with an open mind, without judgment or assumption.
Amira: Using open-ended questions throughout your conversation encourages others to share their thoughts, perspectives, and feelings. And prompts them to consider the person they negatively impacted.
Eve: There isn’t one right question. But asking shows you’re willing to listen and are genuinely seeking to understand.
Frank: Let’s take the conversation I had with Jeremy.
Pic 5: The screen returns to the image of the phone with Jeremy and Frank’s texts.
Jeremy: I emailed Nathan to let him know I scheduled a meeting with him and one of my struggling students. I thought they might relate, but Nathan hasn’t responded. I’m not sure why.
We’ll walk through two examples of possible open-ended questions that Frank could ask Jeremy.
Frank: Why do you think he reacted like that?
Jeremy: I don’t know. He’s really good with students. I thought they would connect because they’re both Black.
Frank: What made you think Nathan as the right person to go to?
Jeremy: He’s really good with students. I thought they would connect because they’re both Black.
Pic 6: The screen returns to the group at the table.
Eve: One of the most important things we can do is listen. But, it’s not enough to be silent.
Amira: You can use reflections. Reflections echo back what a person is saying to show you’re listening and you understand.
Frank: And when possible, reflect any positive values shared. When you recognize someone’s strengths and efforts. This can build their confidence, and helps them realize they have the power to change.
Pic 7: The screen returns to the phone screen, with the last text being from Jeremy, which reads “I don’t know. He’s really good with students. I thought they would connect because they’re both Black.”
Here are two examples of reflections that Frank could use in his conversation with Jeremy.
Frank: You want your student to succeed.
Jeremy: Exactly! Why didn’t he see that?