Positive Parenting

Effective Example

Pic 0: Mr. Campbell, a medium brown skinned man, is sitting at a desk across from Stephanie, a medium skinned young girl.

Mr. Campbell: Thanks for taking a minute to talk, Stephanie.

Stephanie: Sure, but, I'm going to be late for my next class.

Mr. Campbell: It’ll be okay, I can write you a pass.

Stephanie: Oh. Um, okay.

Coach: There is a grey comfort meter at the bottom of the screen which is filled halfway.

Mr. Campbell decides to make an observation and chooses the following dialogue option:

Mr. Campbell: I couldn't help but notice that you've left class to go to the nurse's office several times this week.

Stephanie: Yeah. I haven't been feeling that good.

Mr. Campbell: You've also seemed quieter in class lately. Which surprises me because I thought you were enjoying the Ancient Greeks.

Stephanie: I was, I, I do. They're super cool, it's just, things have been, not great.

Coach: Mr. Campbell did a good job. By bringing up specific, observable behaviors, he broached the topic in a way that didn’t make Stephanie defensive. As a result, she started to open up and share how she’s been feeling lately.

The comfort meter turns green and increases by a small amount.

Mr. Campbell decides to follow up and chooses the following dialogue option:

Mr. Campbell: What makes you say things are "not great"?

Stephanie: Um. I'm just getting crap from people and it's kind of making my life suck.

Mr. Campbell: What are people doing?

Stephanie: (timidly) There's this boy in Mr. Braungart's class across the hall? Jordan? And whenever he sees me he always, like, says a bunch of stuff and gets other kids to laugh at me.

Coach: Mr. Campbell did a good job. By picking up on something specific Stephanie said, he showed her that he was listening. He then invited her to share with an open ended question.

The comfort meter increases by a small amount.

Mr. Campbell decides to get info and chooses the following dialogue option:

Mr. Campbell: What kind of things does he say?

Stephanie: Like, stuff. He follows me in the hall after your class is over and, like, calls me names, makes jokes, calls me, like, (sheepish) fat and stuff, and like, He's been doing it for weeks.

Mr. Campbell: So that's why you've been asking to go to the nurse's office.

Stephanie: Yeah. Her office is right near my 5th period class, and, when the bell rings, I can just go to class and I don't have to see him.

Coach: Now that Mr. Campbell has learned what’s been troubling Stephanie, he should consider taking the time to acknowledge that she shared something difficult to him and to learn more about the alleged bullying and her support network.

The comfort meter increases by a small amount, it is now filled .

Mr. Campbell decides to empathize and chooses the following dialogue option:

Mr. Campbell: I'm glad you're sharing this. I know talking about these things it's not always easy.

Stephanie: It's just, like, why. Why does he have to be such a butt? (smaller, quieter) Sorry, but It's like every day. He does it in the gym, too, he sings these stupid songs at me before roll call. I hate it. I guess I should've said something to someone, but I'm just, kind of used to people blowing me off. No offense.

Mr. Campbell: None taken. What matters is that you're saying something now. And I'm glad you did.

Coach: Nice. By acknowledging how painful bullying can be and praising Stephanie for her willingness to open up, Mr. Campbell made her feel listened and respected. As a result, she continued to share her experience.

The engagement meter increases by a tenth.

Mr. Campbell decides to share info and chooses the following dialogue option:

Mr. Campbell: Jordan's behavior is not okay. Our school has a no bullying policy.

Stephanie: Cool. I mean, I thought Coach Earl had seen it happen in gym, but, maybe not.

Mr. Campbell: We'll talk to Coach Earl to get his perspective. But more than anything, I want to assure you, we will address Jordan's behavior.

Stephanie: Okay, sweet.

Coach: Nice. Mr. Campbell assured Stephanie, in no uncertain terms, that Jordan’s behavior won’t be tolerated by the school. As a result, she feels validated and hopeful that something will be done to stop his behavior.

The engagement meter increases by a tenth.

Mr. Campbell decides to get info and chooses the following dialogue option:

Mr. Campbell: What do the other students do when Jordan is bothering you?

Stephanie: Um, not much, and, that kind of makes it worse.

Mr. Campbell: How so?

Stephanie: Like they think it’s cool or something?

Mr. Campbell: Do they laugh?

Stephanie: Mostly everyone just kind of keeps doing their own thing. Some people laugh.

Coach: Mr. Campbell did a good job using open ended questions to learn more about Stephanie’s situation.

The engagement meter increases a small amount.

Mr. Campbell decides to empathize and chooses the following dialogue option:

Mr. Campbell: I'm sorry this has been happening. It's very upsetting, I know. When I was in sixth grade, I was very shy and I had a bit of stutter and there was a group of kids who decided that this was hysterical. And they let me know on a daily basis. It made things really unpleasant.

Stephanie: Really?

Mr. Campbell: Really.

Stephanie: Ugh. Sucks, Jordan will, like, walk behind me and do this stupid elephant walk and it's, like. (sigh) It's not just at school, either, he always says stuff and uses stupid memes whenever I post pictures online or when my friends do. 

Mr. Campbell: Memes? 

Stephanie: Yeah, like dumb pictures and stuff. To make fun of me.

Coach: Mr. Campbell did a good job. Even if he didn’t have a personal experience to share, he could still let Stephanie know that many kids experience bullying and that he knows how upsetting it can be.

The engagement meter increases by a tenth.