Alberto
KELLY: Alberto’s grades have gotten very low, and now he’s started skipping class. When he does show up for class, he’s usually late and he looks like he just dragged himself out of bed – even though the class starts at 1:30. He also falls asleep a lot in class.
Two days after missing the first assignment, Alberto emailed Professor Hampton, asking for an extension. But he still hasn’t turned in that assignment and now he’s missed another one.
When Professor Hampton asked when he was going to turn in those assignments, Alberto said, “It doesn’t really matter. I’m going to flunk out of school soon anyway.” Professor Hampton thinks he smelled alcohol on his breath.
Now you play Professor Hampton and talk with Alberto. Your goals are to:
- Bring up what he’s noticed. It may help to think about stepping out of your “teacher” or “authority” role and assuming the role of a supportive advisor.
- Ask questions to better understand Alberto’s behavior, remembering that his behavior and attitude probably have very little to do with you, personally.
- And, if necessary, refer him to mental health services, known here as the “counseling center.”
Finally, if Alberto or any student sounds like they feel helpless or hopeless, don’t shy away from asking about suicide. Asking will not put the idea in a student’s head, and it might help you better understand the level of risk for that student.
Good Conversation Example With Alberto
Prof. Hampton: Oh, hi, Alberto. Thanks for coming by to see me.
Alberto: What did you want to talk about?
Prof. Hampton: I noticed you still haven't turned in your first assignment. Is everything okay?
Alberto: Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be turning in this assignment. So, if you're thinking of dropping me from the class, you might as well go ahead and do it.
Prof. Hampton: That seems a bit extreme, don't you think?
Alberto: It's inevitable. I don't mind.
Prof. Hampton: You don't care if I drop you from the class?
Alberto: This is my last semester in school. I'll be leaving soon.
Prof. Hampton: Why?
Alberto: I'm making Fs in all my classes. So, I'll have to leave the university.
Coach Text: Good job. As you continue, keep in mind it's sometimes good to summarize how you think the student is feeling. For example, "It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot lately." This will let the student know you're listening and that you understand what they're going through.
Prof. Hampton: What will you do when you leave school?
Alberto: Maybe I'll work, get a job. I have a friend who works in construction. Maybe he'll get me a job.
Prof. Hampton: Do you want to work construction?
Alberto: I don't care, honestly.
Prof. Hampton: You seem pretty unenthusiastic about your future.
Alberto: What future?
Prof. Hampton: Well, you're a young man. You've got your whole life ahead of you.
Alberto: I guess...
Prof. Hampton: What does that mean?
Alberto: Nothing. Just... I'm ready to go. Are we finished?
Coach Text: Good job. By telling Alberto he seems unenthusiastic, you reflected on his emotional state without passing judgment on it. As you continue, try not to get caught up in Alberto's negativity or view it as a personal challenge to you. Instead, remain empathetic even when he is being aggressive, fatalistic, or dismissive.
Prof. Hampton: Have you told anyone how you feel?
Alberto: I don't know.
Prof. Hampton: Do you have friends? Family? Anyone to talk to about these things?
Alberto: Of course I have friends and family.
Prof. Hampton: And have you told them how you feel?
Alberto: (silence)
Prof. Hampton: You know, sometimes it can be hard to talk with your friends and family about certain things. I think people don't want to be judged, or they feel embarrassed, or they don't want to burden those close to them. Sometimes it's easier to talk with someone on the outside to relieve some of that pressure.
Alberto: Yeah.
Prof. Hampton: Have you ever considered talking to a counselor?
Alberto: (laugh) Dr. Gordon.
Prof. Hampton: Excuse me?
Alberto: I had a therapist once named Dr. Gordon. But he was an asshole. I'm done with assholes.
Coach Text: Good job. Here are some tips for making students more comfortable with mental health services: let them know it's free (usually), explain that counselors work with a lot of students like them, and provide the name of someone there ("I'd like to refer you to my colleague...").
Prof. Hampton: Have you heard about the Counseling Center on campus?
Alberto: Uh, no...
Prof. Hampton: Well, it's a free service for students and it's very close to here, just over on Highland Road. The people there work with a lot of students, and they're trained to help people who have issues like you're describing.
Alberto: I don't know. I'm real busy.
Prof. Hampton: What are you busy doing?
Alberto: You know, the usual... Busy, busy.
Prof. Hampton: I could make an appointment for you with the Counseling Center.
Alberto: Maybe. I'll think about it. I'm just not sure it's for me.
Prof. Hampton: Why isn't it for you?
Alberto: Can't you see? I'm a piece in the wrong puzzle. There's no place for me. I don't fit.
Prof. Hampton: What do you mean, you don't fit?
Alberto: I mean... I mean... nothing. (faster) I mean, you shouldn't waste your time on me because maybe I won't be here for very long.
Prof. Hampton: I don't understand.
Alberto: I mean, maybe tomorrow my car will be in the lake. And maybe I'll still be in it.
Prof. Hampton: Do you mean that?
Alberto: What, no. I'm just kidding. You don't have to worry about me. I don't even have a car.
Coach Text: This is a very serious statement and should not be ignored. You need to find out if Alberto has considered suicide and, if so, if he has a plan in place. Demonstrate your concern and ensure he gets to the mental health services office immediately.
Prof. Hampton: Have you thought about suicide?
Alberto: C'mon, I'm not crazy. But... yeah, of course I've thought about it.
Prof. Hampton: What have you thought about suicide?
Alberto: I don't know. Nothing specific. I'd never do it. I just... think about it sometimes.
Prof. Hampton: How often do you have thoughts about suicide?
Alberto: I don't know. Every day? But it doesn't matter. I wouldn't have what it takes to do that right, either.
Prof. Hampton: It's not uncommon for people who are feeling down to have some thoughts about dying. It usually means that they're in a lot of pain and just want that pain to stop. But when you've run out of answers, it's time to get help.
Alberto: What do you mean?
Prof. Hampton: When we have physical pain that won't go away, we see a doctor. When emotional pain won't stop, we also need to get help. Counselors are trained to help us with our emotional problems. They can help us get through things that we feel are too big for us to get through alone.
Alberto: (nods assent)
Prof. Hampton: I have the number for the Counseling Center. Would you like me to call and make an appointment for you?
Alberto: (nods again)
End Conversation.
Weak Conversation Example With Alberto
Prof. Hampton: Oh, hi, Alberto. Thanks for coming by to see me.
Alberto: What did you want to talk about?
Prof. Hampton: When are you going to turn in your assignment?
Alberto: This is what you called me here to talk about?
Prof. Hampton: Yes. I don't want to fail you.
Alberto: Thanks.
Prof. Hampton: If you don't turn in your assignment soon, I will have no choice but to give you an F on it.
Alberto: You should. That'll show me.
Coach Text: While it's good to communicate the consequences of Alberto's actions, confronting him too strongly will shut him down. Try to find out what's happening first, as it may be something beyond his control.
Prof. Hampton: I noticed you've been falling asleep in class.
Alberto: Oh, is that a problem?
Coach Text: Alberto is being sarcastic and aggressive. As you continue the conversation, don't let him pull you into a power struggle. This is the fastest way to lose a student exhibiting this kind of behavior.
Prof. Hampton: It's not a good thing, no.
Alberto: I guess that's something I'll have to work on. Thank you for the corrective criticism, professor. I flourish under the feedback and criticism of my superiors.
Prof. Hampton: I'm not trying to criticize you, Alberto. I asked you here because I'm concerned about you.
Alberto: (sigh) I didn't mean it to come out that way... I'm sorry. ]It's just... I've been very tired lately. I can't shake it. No matter how much I sleep, it's never enough.
Coach Text: Though Alberto is being antagonistic right now, remember it is most likely not anything personal towards you. By remaining calm, you're more likely to have a productive conversation, understand the underlying issues, and make a successful referral.
Prof. Hampton: Have you seen a doctor about that?
Alberto: A doctor? What are they going to give me, caffeine pills? I'll be okay.
Prof. Hampton: How long has this been going on?
Alberto: How long? I don't know, three months? About.
Prof. Hampton: Has it been getting worse?
Alberto: Yeah. Getting worse. Used to be I needed to sleep maybe 10 hours a day. Then 12. Now, if I don't have a class or something I have to do, I just stay in bed.
Prof. Hampton: Because you're tired?
Alberto: Because... yeah.
Prof. Hampton: It sounds like you're feeling discouraged about things.
Alberto: Well, what's there to be so happy about?
Prof. Hampton: It's not that you have to be happy. But I do want you to be okay.
Alberto: (shrugs, shake head)
Prof. Hampton: You should be focused on all the positive things in your life. There are a lot of people your age who don't get enough to eat every day or who don't have the opportunity to get a college education. You're actually very fortunate.
Alberto: Wow, I never thought of it like that. Are we done?
Coach Text: Be careful not to belittle Alberto's feelings. Though he may seem fortunate to you, it's impossible to know exactly what he's going through. Instead, try to understand his perspective and empathize with his feelings whenever possible.
Prof. Hampton: It's common for people to feel down from time to time. When it starts getting in the way of school or the rest of your life, it's time to talk to someone about it.
Alberto: (slightly nods, seems engaged)
Prof. Hampton: Have you ever considered talking to a counselor?
Alberto: (laugh) Dr. Gordon.
Prof. Hampton: Excuse me?
Alberto: I had a therapist once named Dr. Gordon. But he was an asshole. I'm done with assholes.
Prof. Hampton: I'm sorry you had a bad experience with Dr. Gordon. I hope that you know some counselors are very effective. They see a lot of students with concerns like yours and they do help them.
Alberto: (shrugs) Maybe.
Prof. Hampton: If you don't mind me asking, why were you seeing a counselor before?
Alberto: Getting a little personal, aren't you? (sigh) But, if you must know, I couldn't get out of bed. My mom thought there was something wrong with me, so she made me go see Dr. Gordon. But I stopped going. I think he was crazier than I was.
Coach Text: Asking why he saw a counselor before is very personal and can lower his comfort. It is also irrelevant to the current conversation. Remember, your role is that of a concerned teacher, not a counselor or a confidant, so focus on connecting him to appropriate resources that can benefit him at this time.
Prof. Hampton: And you started feeling better on your own?
Alberto: Yeah, for a little while.
Prof. Hampton: Well, you know there are medication and treatment options that help some people in similar situations. I'm not an expert but I think there may be something that could help you as well.
Alberto: Okay...
Prof. Hampton: I want you to make an appointment with the Counseling Center.
Alberto: Fine. Can I go now?
Coach Text: Trusting him to make and keep an appointment with the mental health services office is not enough. In this case, you should help him make the appointment, or, better yet, walk him there today.
Prof. Hampton: What if we called the Counseling Center right now, and set up an appointment for you? Would you go?
Alberto: Maybe. (hesitates) Yes...
Prof. Hampton: Okay, let's give them a call.
End Conversation
KELLY: In this conversation, Alberto seemed very negative and even hostile. However, eventually--after you remained calm and showed your genuine concern--he opened up and explained some of his behaviors. Alberto may have confided in you that he feels like sleeping all the time, that he still thinks he’s going to flunk out of school, or that he’s contemplated suicide.
Any mention of suicide must be addressed. If you got Alberto to agree to counseling, it was appropriate to make the appointment for him or even to walk him to the office, yourself. It would also be advisable to follow-up with him after the next class period to see how he’s doing.
Here are some useful takeaways from this conversation:
1) When in doubt, talk to the student.
It’s easy to let students like Alberto slip by, since they’re not being disruptive in class. However, by speaking with him, you found out he’s actually been having serious issues.
It’s never a bad idea to ask a student how he’s doing, especially when he’s missed assignments and has been doing poorly in class. You never know when there could be something more serious going on, and most students will appreciate that you took the time to ask.
2) Remain calm.
When talking with students who seem angry or irritated, understand that their attitude probably has very little to do with you. Most likely they’re upset about other things in their lives and looking for a way to express that frustration. Therefore, try not to take their attitude personally and avoid getting into a power struggle which would only hinder you from breaking through to the student. By remaining calm and concerned, you're much more likely to have a productive conversation.
3) Address any mention of suicide.
If a student mentions suicide, even casually, you must address it. Don't assume he is just joking or blowing off steam. If a student is hinting around about suicide, it's probably been on their mind lately. Joking about it may their way of looking for help, minimizing its seriousness, or expressing anxiety about the idea. It’s important to ask directly, “Are you thinking about suicide?” “Is this something you’ve considered?” or “Do you think you’d ever do something like that?” If the student says yes, ask if they have a plan for how they would do it.
4) Know the resources at your school.
1. If a student has considered suicide, it’s very important to refer them to mental health services. In fact, you will probably want to walk them over. If the student says they have a plan, they are in immediate danger and definitely need to be walked over.
2. If it is after-hours, talk to the student about calling 911.
3. Afterwards--or if the student refused services--report your concerns about their wellbeing to the Dean of Students Office and/or to the school’s behavior intervention team.
4. Check the Resources section for the appropriate referral points at your institution.
This concludes the simulation At-Risk For University & College Faculty and Staff.
Thank you for participating!
Resources and Links
The National Suicide Prevention Lifelife
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
For veterans press 1
En español oprima el 2
suicidepreventionlifeline.org »
The Jed Foundation
Promoting emotional health and preventing suicide.
www.jedfoundation.org »
The Trevor Lifeline (for LGBTQ youth)
866-488-7386
thetrevorproject.org »
Active Minds
Dedicated to raising mental health awareness among college students
www.activeminds.org »
Student Veterans of America
Provide military veterans with the resources, support, and advocacy needed to succeed in higher education and following graduation.
studentveterans.org »
Certificate of Completion
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