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It's natural to have high expectations about your loved one's return. Think about some of the expectations you have for your loved one's return--or, if he or she is already back, what expectations you did have.

Here are some expectations that spouses, partners, family and friends of returning veterans often have. Which expectations can you relate to?

• I expect that my spouse, partner, or loved one will:
• be relaxed and happy to be home from war.
• not want to re-enlist.
• be the same person I knew before the deployment.
• want to celebrate the homecoming with friends and family.
• want to spend time with me, doing things we used to enjoy.
• bond quickly with the children.
• help with childcare, bills, and household responsibilities.
• help financially by looking for a civilian job.
• express love for me and give me attention.
• want to be sexually intimate.
• be more dependable, responsible, decisive, and strong.
• want my advice on life and things in general.
• want to confide in me and tell me about problems.
• have a clear sense of goals and responsibilities.
• tell me about his/her military experiences.
• want to hear about my experiences.
• appreciate how well I managed things in his/her absence.
• need time to readjust before life swings back to the way it was before deployment.
• experience trauma from war, similar to what I've seen in movies and on TV.