Kate giggles.
KATE: What?
KATE: Easy.
COACH: It’s important to check in with a partner before getting more physically intimate. Just because you have consent to kiss, doesn’t mean you have consent to do more.
SEAN: We’ve been hanging for a while now, I’d like to do more than this.
KATE: We haven’t been hanging out for that long.
SEAN: Yeah, but the time we’ve had has been so good. Let’s just be in the moment and enjoy ourselves.
KATE: Okay.
COACH: Telling Kate what you’d like is one way to encourage her to say what she’d like. But, when you bring up how long you’ve been hanging out, it makes it sound like you think you’ve waited long enough; maybe that you even think she owes it to you.
COACH: Kate showed she didn’t want your hand in her shirt by pushing it away last time. Doing it again, even playfully, implies you don’t respect her boundaries. Anything other than enthusiasm indicates she’s not giving consent. It’s time to check in with her.
KATE: I think I want to stop.
COACH: Kate said she wanted to stop, and isn’t kissing Sean back. The only choice here is to stop.
KATE: I’m gonna go.
SEAN: Uh, okay. So, I’ll text you, or?
KATE: Sure.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: I’ve been thinking a lot about that night with Sean.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: I did NOT feel comfortable being around him afterward.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: Sean didn’t check in with me at first.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: And then he was kind of pushy about taking the next step. I didn’t feel super comfortable about that.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: Then, Sean ignored me when I pushed his hand away.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: I finally had to tell Sean I wanted to stop, but he ignored me. It was like, he didn’t care.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: Sean needs to seriously think about what he did, how he made me feel, and realize he can never do that again. To me, or anyone else.
Kate giggles.
KATE: What?
SEAN: You want to keep going?
KATE: Keep going?
COACH: By checking in with Kate, you made sure she was excited to continue. Communication is an important part of consent.
KATE: Maybe. Yeah, I’d like that.
SEAN: I’m enjoying this. How is it for you?
SEAN: It’s totally okay for us to slow down, or stop, if you want.
KATE: Yeah.
SEAN: Yeah?
COACH: By checking in when Kate pushed you away, you allowed her to share how she’s feeling. Communication is an important part of consent.
KATE: I don’t know.
SEAN: I don’t want to keep going if you’re not sure.
KATE: Yeah. I think maybe I’d like to stop.
COACH: By respecting Kate’s boundaries, you allowed her to tell you how she felt. When your partner shows any sign of hesitation, the only choice is to give them the space to stop if they want.
SEAN: I really like you.
KATE: I like you too.
SEAN: I’m glad you spoke up. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.
KATE: Thanks.
COACH: You expressed your feelings for Kate while encouraging her to be honest with you. This will help you have healthy communication around consent in the future.
KATE: Do you wanna watch a movie or something?
SEAN: I’d be down. We could also go out, grab some ice cream.
KATE: That could be fun. Maybe both?
SEAN: I like the way you think.
KATE: Cool.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: I’ve been thinking a lot about that night with Sean.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: He was thoughtful of how I was feeling the whole time.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: At first, Sean checked in with me. I could tell what he wanted, and he let me share what I wanted.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: When I pushed Sean’s hand away, he realized I wasn’t feeling so into it and checked in with me.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: I told Sean I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep going, and he listened to me.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: After we stopped, he checked in with me again. I was a little weirded out by the whole thing, so I’m glad he did.
KATE’S FEEDBACK: I don’t know where things are going with me and Sean, but I really like him.