Step 3: Feedback

Providing feedback without asking permission

PROVIDER: I have some things I want to tell you about alcohol use.

TEEN: Uh

COACH: Asking for permission before sharing information shows respect and makes the adolescent feel like an active participant in the conversation. You can use either an open-ended question ("What do you think about that?") or a closed-ended question ("Would that be okay?"), depending on your preference.

Providing non-relevant feedback
PROVIDER: Alcohol can have terrible, sometimes long-term, effects on your body. It can damage your liver, increase your blood pressure, create stomach ulcers. You're also much more likely to develop an alcohol use disorder as an adult if you drink as a teenager.
TEEN: Uh

COACH: Information about health consequences that arise from chronic, heavy drinking does not seem relevant to adolescents. Teens are more receptive to feedback that is meaningful and likely to happen, especially as it relates to their appearance or short-term goals.

Attempting to correct a teen who doesn't agree with your feedback

PROVIDER: My point is that alcohol is more dangerous than you think. People get seriously hurt. It's unlikely, but drinking could even kill you. This research has been validated with numerous studies.
TEEN: Well, research also shows I'm tired and hungry and want to go home. It's super reputable; straight from the source. Look... That stuff's not gonna happen to me. I'm not going to be a crazy drunk in an alley or anything.
PROVIDER: Okay, I see where you are coming from. Let's discuss something else that is more relevant to you.

COACH: Notice how arguing with the adolescent over the validity of the research created a confrontational environment where he moved more strongly toward "his" side. If you encounter push back, roll with it ("Okay, I see where you are coming from.") and move on.