ABBY: And, finally, question four. Assuming all agents are rational, is there any price at which trade would be mutually agreeable?
KATE: Ugh!
ABBY: Come on, you got this!
KATE: (scoff) Trust me, I really really don’t.
ABBY: I mean, what do you think would help most at this point?
KATE: I don't know. There's so much left to review, but I'm out of time, and. (sigh)
ABBY: How can I help?
KATE: You've done so much already, and I don't want to be a burden or anything, but like, think I could try taking one of your pills? See if that helps me focus, like you do?
Kate's thought: I wish I knew a better way to help myself, but I feel like one of your pills is all I have left at this point.
ABBY: Instead of a pill, what if we get up tomorrow before the test, and like, quiz each other more? That'd help me a lot.
KATE: Mornings can be hard for me sometimes.
ABBY: All good, we can grab a big coffee or energy drink or something, jump start things before the midterm.
KATE: I mean, I'm down for that! I'll take whatever help I can get. But also, I don’t know.
COACH: Abby chose to offer an alternative, which reassured Kate that Abby still wants to help by suggesting a safer way for her to study. This can be an effective way to protect your prescription, without things getting awkward.
KATE: Ugh. I don’t get why everything has to be happening at once.
ABBY: What do you mean?
KATE: I haven’t really told people this, but remember how I told you my mom’s been sick for a while? Well like, a week ago she kind of collapsed. So, yeah. Anyway, they had to take her to the hospital, it was a whole thing. I kept going in and out to see her, but I also had to keep up with everything at school. Not the best month.
ABBY: I'm so sorry to hear about your mom.
KATE: Thankfully she's doing better.
ABBY: Oh, that's good. If you want to share more about it, I'm here for you.
KATE: (nods) Anyway, because I'm close by and have a car, I've had to get my sister’s groceries and stuff sometimes, and I've ended up missing parts of classes. It's been a lot.
KATE'S THOUGHT: I'm glad you wanted to listen. I wasn't sure you would be comfortable talking about it.
ABBY: It's clear you've been working so hard for your family. They're seriously lucky to have you.
KATE: I couldn't just pretend everything was fine and ignore them to focus on school.
ABBY: For sure. And at the same time, you've continued to do everything you can to keep up in school. It's a lot to deal with.
KATE: Yeah, it has been a lot. For now, I really need to figure out what I’m going to do for the test tomorrow. Now that you know what’s going on, any way you could help me out? I can pay you, or whatever, for it. Or I have some of my mom’s pain pills if you want to trade.
KATE'S THOUGHT: I’m glad I have you as a friend to talk with about what’s going on at home. But right now, I’ve got to deal with this test.
ABBY: It’s not really about money or anything, I just don’t really think I can give you any. If I run out early, my doctor might, I don’t know, maybe not prescribe me anymore. That would be really not good.
KATE: Really? So like, you can’t just go get more whenever?
ABBY: I’m pretty sure my doctor would notice, you know? And I’m not super into the idea of trying to get through school without enough of my medication.
KATE: I feel you.
COACH: Abby chose to give an external explanation for why she refused. This let Kate know that her request was a big risk for Abby. An explanation can be an effective way to protect your prescription without things getting awkward.
ABBY: You're my friend, and I get how you want to do well on this test. I want you to do well, too. So tomorrow, whatever I can do to go through things with you or whatever, I'm there.
KATE: Thanks, Abby, I'll let you know. Seriously Abby, with the test and everything else. The past few weeks have really been a lot for me.
ABBY: I can imagine.
KATE: What I’m trying to say is, I’m glad I have someone like you as a friend.
Overall Result
Abby successfully turned down Kate’s request, while still showing her she cared about the friendship and wanted her to do well.
Refusal Skills
First Request
Abby chose to offer an alternative, which reassured Kate that she still wants to help.
Abby said, “Instead of a pill, what if we meet up tomorrow before the test and quiz each other?”
Second Request
Abby chose to give an external explanation for why she refused. This let Kate know that her request was a risk for Abby.
Abby said, “If I run out early, my doctor might not prescribe me any more.”