Pic 1: Fade to an empty classroom where Ms. Abbie is sitting in a chair across from Kira.
Ms. Abbie: Thanks for sitting down with me, Kira.
Kira: (pauses) Am I in trouble?
Ms. Abbie: No, no, you’re not in trouble. I wanted to talk with you for a couple of minutes, see how you’re doing, and then you can join everyone else at recess.
Kira: (pauses) Okay.
Ms. Abbie: I gotta say, you haven’t been paying attention in school recently.
Kira: (pauses) Sorry.
Ms. Abbie: It’s okay, it’s just that, well, that might hurt your ability to learn.
Coach: This language can project a judgmental tone towards our students. Instead, try using soft, neutral language to describe what you observed.
Kira: (pauses) I’ll do better. Sometimes it’s, I just think about (pauses) other things.
Kira’s thought: I don’t (pauses) want to space out. I just, do.
Ms. Abbie: After such a good year so far, I’m trying to understand. Why are you shutting down, all of a sudden?
Coach: This is an open-ended question, but could leave the student feeling judged. Instead, try using more neutral language.
Kira: (discouraged) I’m sorry, I don’t mean to.
Ms. Abbie: You don’t need to apologize. I’m just trying to figure out, why the change?
Kira: I don’t know, I’ve just been kind of, sad.
Kira’s thought: Why? I know why. And it’s not my fault.
Ms. Abbie: No matter how you’re feeling, I’m here to tell you that school is important.
Coach: School is important, but this choice focused on school and not on the student’s feelings. Instead, try to show the student you’re there to support them.
Kira: Okay, I just, I don’t know.
Ms. Abbie: If something is going on, you can tell me.
Kira: (sigh) My cousin got in an accident. And now he’s dead.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) I’m sorry to hear that.
Kira: (nervous) Don’t tell my mom though. That I told you. She doesn’t like, she doesn’t like talking about it.
Ms. Abbie: I can understand why.
Kira: (nods)
Ms. Abbie: If I’m being honest, I’m worried about you, worried what might happen if you keep thinking about your cousin. If you can, try to stop.
Coach: This reflection was more like giving advice. Instead, try showing the student you care and are there to provide support.
Kira: Okay, I can try but I don’t know if that’s going to help.
Kira’s thought: I can’t control what I think.
Ms. Abbie: Maybe, it might help you feel better if you just, let it all out. You know? Tell me everything on your mind.
Coach: Digging for more information can make the student feel uncomfortable. It’s okay to move on and make a plan together.
Kira: I don’t, no, I don’t want to do that.
Ms. Abbie: Oh, okay. No problem. You’re going through a lot as a family, and you still show up for school every day. That takes a lot of strength.
Coach: This was an example of an observable behavior that was specific and affirmed how the student was feeling.
Kira: (shrugs) I like school. I like my friends.
Ms. Abbie: And we like having you here, with us.
Kira: (nods) Talking about school is okay. For now, could we maybe stop talking about this?
Ms. Abbie: No problem. I think we need to find some ways to make your time in class easier.
Coach: Finding ways to help a student in class is important, but you want to make sure to give them some choice. Try asking the student what works for them.
Kira: And you, I’m really not in trouble?
Ms. Abbie: (warm) No, you’re not.
Kira: (pauses) Okay.
Ms. Abbie: Maybe it could help to keep in mind, everyone feels sad sometimes, you know?
Coach: When we overgeneralize it can minimize the student’s feelings. Instead, try showing the student you are there to support them.
Kira: Oh. Okay.
(open) Can I go to recess now? That was already something to think about (trails off).
Kira’s thought: I know everyone feels sad sometimes, how does that help me?
Ms. Abbie: What do you think about the mindfulness activities we do in class? Like, taking a few minutes to notice how you feel, focus on your breathing, that kind of thing.
Coach: Asking about mindfulness can be helpful, especially if it’s something you’ve done as a whole class.
Kira: I, I like doing that. It kind of helps me (pauses) slow down. A little.
Ms. Abbie: (nods) Well, if you ever feel like it would help, you’re welcome to take a minute and sit, shut your eyes, focus on your body, and your breathing, same way we do with the whole class.
Kira: Okay, yeah. Maybe I’ll try that. (a little antsy) I’d like to go to recess, unless you have something else? That’s already a couple things to think about.
Ms. Abbie: Let’s try that as a starting place, and see how things feel from there.
Kira: (a little hopeful) Okay.
Ms. Abbie: Well, thanks again for talking with me today. Maybe we can check in... a few days from now, and see how everything is going.
Kira: Okay. Can I go now?
Ms. Abbie: (nods) Yeah, go ahead.
Overall Result:
Kira doesn’t feel fully supported in talking through what’s happening at home. It’s good that Ms. Abbie discussed some strategies she can try on her own. Ms. Abbie can show support by following up with her, which she’s already planned to do.