Overall, Mr. Campbell did a good job helping Stephanie feel comfortable discussing what’s been happening to her! He listened to her situation and assured her that the school will address Jordan’s behavior.
Conversation Goals
Goal 1: Help Stephanie Feel Comfortable Enough to Discuss What’s Been Happening
Campbell earned a green check mark. By sticking to neutral, observable behavior, open ended questions, and offering words of unconditional support, Mr. Campbell helped Stephanie feel safe and confident enough to share her experience and begin discussing support.
Goal 2: Connect Stephanie to Support
Campbell earned a green check mark. He did a great job making plans with Stephanie to go talk to Ms. Dixon together. Not only does Stephanie feel confident that the school will address Jordan’s behavior, she knows what the next steps are.
Effective Techniques
These are things for Mr. Campbell to remember when dealing with this incident:
Showed He’s Listening
“What makes you say things are ‘not great?’”
Campbell picked up on something specific Stephanie said, which showed her that he was listening. He then invited her to share with an open ended question.
Empathized
“I’m glad you’re sharing this. I know it’s not always easy to talk about these things.”
By acknowledging how painful bullying can be and praising Stephanie for her willingness to open up, Mr. Campbell made her feel listened to and respected. As a result, she continued to share her experience.
Assured
“Jordan’s behavior is not okay. We have a school wide no bullying policy here.”
Campbell assured Stephanie, in no uncertain terms, that Jordan’s behavior won’t be tolerated by the school. As a result, she felt validated and hopeful that something would be done to stop his behavior.
Make a Plan
“You and I can meet with Ms. Dixon today if you’d like.”
Not only did Mr. Campbell refer Stephanie to the school’s designated official for bullying, but by offering to go with her, he let her know that he’s invested in helper her and that the school will address Jordan’s behavior.
Common Pitfalls
For this type of conversation, Mr. Campbell should be sure to avoid:
Reprimanding the Victim
Campbell did a good job. He didn’t start the conversation by reprimanding Stephanie. Instead, he showed an interest in what was causing her behavior.
Downplaying the Topic of Bullying
Campbell did a good job. He didn’t dismiss or downplay Jordan’s behavior. As a result, Stephanie knew that he was taking her situation seriously and she could continue to open up to him.
Blaming the Victim
Campbell did a good job. He didn’t imply that Stephanie was at fault for Jordan’s behavior or somehow allowing for it.
Incorrectly Referring the Student
Campbell did a good job. He made a specific plan for connecting Stephanie to the school’s designated official for bullying.
Recommendations
When dealing with incidents like this in real life, the key to an effective response is to:
Stick to making neutral observations about specific, observable behavior.
Encourage the student to open up by offering words of support and using open ended questions.
Clearly inform the student of the school’s policy toward bullying and assure them that the situation will be addressed.
Avoid putting the focus on the aggressor, downplaying the bullying, or making the student feel they should’ve done more to stand up for themselves.
Make a specific, immediate action plan that directly connects the student to support.
